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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » Which One Should I Choose?

Which One Should I Choose?

Ask FreeloveMD | April 8, 2008

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Which one should I choose? My boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up about 8 months ago after a rocky relationship. I moved out and we had been talking off and on since then until recently when we got into another big fight.
I recently met a guy and we have been dating for about two months. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about my ex, I really like this guy but I’m not sure if I can see myself with him in the future. My ex recently wrote me an email saying he wants me back and work out all the problems we had before (I always had problems with him flirting with girls, writing to them online and he even cheated on me once early in the relationship). For some weird reason I have such strong feelings for him. My question is do I go back to the old, or do I stay with the new?

Sounds to me like you should do neither. Take a break from both of them. You don’t have intense feelings for the guy you’re dating now, and you can’t stop thinking about your ex. You seem to have an oil and water relationship with your ex that probably can’t be changed. Everyone claims they will change, however in 4 years you’ve seen the results. I’d keep both of the relationships on more of a friendship level and see how they feel and evolve. Sometimes people think they need have one extreme or the other. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do something simply because the other person wants to.

This question was answered by Jasmine, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

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