Three Boyfriends At Once?
Ask FreeloveMD | January 28, 2006
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I love my boyfriend of almost three years dearly. He has become less and less affectionate with me; he’s basically just lazy, but I know he still loves me with all his heart. I still feel unappreciated and neglected, so I broke up with him three days ago so that he can get his life in order, be more independent, and stop taking me for granted.
However, the situation isn’t as simple as that. I have also been close to a friend of his, who I have grown extremely affectionate with lately, and we have been using the breakup to our advantage. I love when he takes me out and makes me feel so special. I already love him too, and I don’t want to hurt him. I love spending time with him; he’s sweet, funny, and pays so much attention to me. Not hard to fall in love there, but how long does that last?
To complete the picture, there is a young man at my work who is smart, witty, and attractive. I have really begun looking forward to work so that I can see him. I’ve managed to get to be seated with him, and during the building remodel, we are all alone in the library together. He has just moved in with his girlfriend of six months, but he is definitely returning my affection and attention. I really hope this could continue, as I could see us working well together in the long run.
Prior to this month, I have not even been slightly interested in other men. I still love and care for my original boyfriend dearly, almost like he was my son. He wants to “come home” already, and as I much as I care for him, I don’t really want to live with him again, since this would mean severing my ties with his friend (who he doesn’t know about) and giving up all hope of a relationship with my work buddy.
My ideal scenario would be to have them all. I think I finally understand polygamy; I have more than enough love for all of them. I am a little of a needy person, and with three admirers, and I have more fulfilled and content than I have ever. I’ve had multiple boyfriends way back in high school, and this is different and better.
Is it okay to love three men at once? I feel like a mother who loves all of her children, each in their own way, and always with all my heart.
Right now you are having fun. Everyone likes to feel wanted and appreciated. Enjoy it for now. Some thoughts:
Giving your boyfriend a wakeup call was probably a good idea. If you truly love him and plan on getting back together with him than this will hopefully help him get his life back together and appreciate you more.
His friend that you have started to have feelings for is an interesting situation. You need to be careful. If you have any plans of getting back with your boyfriend this could really screw things up if you do something with his friend. You also need to realize that almost every relationship is more exciting in the “dating” stage. Everything is new and exciting and the guy is giving you all kinds of attention. Realize that there are reasons why he is giving you so much affection and attention. But, if you really like this guy and could see yourself in a relationship with him than it might be worth a try.
It seems like you and the guy at work just like to flirt. He is in a relationship, you trying to play the home-wrecker probably is not a good idea. Flirting with him at work is OK but if it gets serious you better make sure he breaks up with his girlfriend before you do anything.
You know deep down it is not feasible to have all three of them at the same time. It may sound good to you right now, but a situation like this hardly ever works. Eventually it will come crashing down and you will be by yourself.
Summary: You yourself said you are a needy person. You also haven’t had this much needed attention for a long time because of your lazy boyfriend. Now that you are out of that relationship you are all of a sudden getting all kinds of attention. Be careful, right now you are vulnerable because you haven’t had the attention you crave in a long time. Enjoy it, but don’t enjoy it too much, or you might end up by yourself and wondering what happened.