She Doesn’t Trust Me
Ask FreeloveMD | May 28, 2007
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I am engaged and I truly love my fiancée. My concern is that she doesn’t trust me enough. She spent years with an abusive guy and she sometimes acts like I am him.
She has a problem when I go out with my friends. I only get to see my friends maybe once or twice a month. Whenever I try to calmly bring up that I’d like to see my friends more often, and that some time apart is healthy for relationships, she gets upset and calls me selfish. I feel like I’m paying for her ex-boyfriend, who would cheat on her when he went out. I really do not want to be without my fiancée, but I feel we need to fix this trust issue before getting married. What can I possibly do?
You do need to fix this trust issue as soon as possible. Take her out with you and your friends a few times so she is comfortable and trusting of them. This will make it easier when you decide to see them without her. She will feel better about your friends, and will not be so defensive when you decide to spend time with them. As time passes she should become more and more trusting of you and your friends.
You also need to make it clear to her that you are not her ex-boyfriend. She should not hold his mistakes over your head. It is important to bring this up gently, you do not want to accuse her harshly or bring it up at the wrong time.