My Wife’s Sister
Ask FreeloveMD | July 2, 2006
2 Comments
Ok, I have been married a year, with a kid. My wife’s sister lives with us because she can’t get along with her fathers new wife. She never offers to help with bills, or even tells me thanks for letting her stay in our house. I work 80+ hrs weeks so my time with my family is very important when I have it. I don’t know why she doesn’t have her own place by now and I am tired of coming home to an angry women’s club complaining about their father’s new wife, I need my space!
I have told my wife on several occasions about how I feel and she feels that I am being childish. They can’t be away from each other for more than a couple of hours whether in person or by phone. Its been this way ever since my wife moved up here to be with me.
I guess the final straw was today when I went to meet my wife for lunch, which is rare because of my job, and her sister shows up too. I am at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. I feel like a stranger in my own house and I am sick of it!
You are in a tough situation. This situation is hurting you and your family. It is especially hard because the problem is your wife’s sister. Your wife is going to be very defensive about her own sister, especially if they both dislike their father’s new wife. Your wife will have a hard time realizing her sister is hurting your family dynamic.
Sit down with your wife in private; schedule a date for just you two, and make it very clear it is a date between you and her. During this date calmly and politely voice these concerns to her. Let her know the situation is tearing you apart personally and hurting your relationship with your family. Like you said, you feel like a stranger in your own house. Let her know that you love her sister, and think she is a great person (whether this is true or not); she just can’t continue to live in your house. It is OK for your family to help out her sister and provide a temporary living space; she just needs to realize it cannot be permanent. Her sister is a grown up, and can provide for herself.
Be very careful while explaining this to your wife. Do not make accusations or turn it into an argument. Let her know you are very serious and concerned about the situation. Tell her how it makes you feel to come home everyday and feel like an outsider. If she truly loves you she will take time to understand and appreciate your concerns.
tableshark says:
November 6, 2006 at 2:33 am
You really need to fix this situation dude. Your wife it totally taking advantage of you and your hard work. You need to let you wife know who is in control of the household and what you want done. Give her sister two weeks to get out or start packing her bags for her. Put your foot down and regain your household man!
flyygirl says:
November 7, 2006 at 11:04 pm
First of all how old is your sister in law??? Assuming she’s old enough to get her own place…why is she staying with you?? It’s bad enough that she’s there, but it’s way too much that she’s staying there is ungrateful and does not pay any bills. SHE HAS GOT TO GO!!! Your wife needs to understand this. It don’t make no sense for you to work 80 hours a week and feel uncomfortable in your own home.