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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » My Wife Is Not Being Understanding

My Wife Is Not Being Understanding

Ask FreeloveMD | April 21, 2008

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I really feel as if my wife is not being understanding to my needs at all…I have been deployed to a very dangerous part of Afghanistan for 15 months. I’m going home soon and would like to spend a short 4 day vacation with my wife at Disneyland and Napa (wine tasting and massages). The problem is my wife and I recently had a son that is 4 months old now and my wife doesn’t want to go on the trip and leave him, she said she will go but doesn’t want to. While I don’t want to leave my son for those 4 days either I really feel like I NEED this trip and deserve it since I have been deployed for so long. I feel like she is being very selfish, I don’t think she will even try to have fun on the vacation I feel I have earned. I really think my wife should be more understanding. Am I wrong to be mad?

First, thank you for your service. You are not out of line wanting to spend quality r&r time with your wife. Your wife has probably formed a very close attachment with your son and feels leaving him will somehow cause him harm. She also has been home alone which could make her feel isolated and perhaps more rigid than she might normally be. Four days is not a long time and your son won’t remember anything. You obviously should feel comfortable and confident in whoever takes care of him, and I’m sure you’ll be able to call in to check on him. This could be a valuable vacation for your wife as well. Hopefully you’ll both get rid of some stress, get to renew your affection for each other, and come back with fresh energy for your new family.

This question was answered by Joe, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

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