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• Diana says:

  June 5, 2008 at 10:13 pm

  I really feel for you when I read about your issue and think you are stronger than what you give yourself credit for.I truly believe if he is cruel enough for walking out like he did I don’t think he is worth you trying to read too much in to his intentions.He might be calling to talk to your children but he is really only considering himself if he is talking this nonsense about making a fresh start.What about your children?Does he not understand how this will impact them while he is off making his fresh start or doesn’t he care?I think you should start focusing on your pregnancy and your two children because if he is worth anything at some point he might get the hint you are moving on and come to his senses.

• MDMomof3 says:

  July 3, 2008 at 7:39 pm

  I wish I had answer for you. But I know how you feel and know how horrible you may feel at times. I am 7 mo. pregnant with our third and my husband can’t make up his mind whether he wants to stay with us, or live the “single” life. One day he has me promise we’ll be together for ever, then the next he wants to leave and start all over.

  I wish you the best of luck and you’re not alone.

• Natalia says:

  September 5, 2008 at 2:52 am

  Same thing here. My husband left, and the truth is that I told him to leave if he wasn’t happy, so he did. Just like that, he left, picked up some of his stuff and left the next day. I’m still trying to figure out if I want him back or not, because how can someone just be so cold hearted and leave a family like they are yesterdays news, you know? I have a son and I have been thinking and thinking of what do to get money, and spend the least amount of time away from him, I really feel for you guys that have a 2 or 3 kids, how can men be such dogs to walk out of their kids lives, destroy a family just like that. Good luck girls…..pray, and pray, ohhh yeah, read “How to become a better you” it will help you, great motivator.it’s helping me get through these tough times. I’ve been meditating and prayer, man it’s worked wonders I have not felt sad, or worried. I know I will succeed, keep pushing forward you have the most valuable thing in the world…your kids. They are the strenght you need, they need you. Love them, pray, and buy that book I really recommend it. Lots of Faith, and trust in god.

• ms disappointed says:

  September 20, 2008 at 10:25 pm

  Hey ladies. I’m in the same boat. My husband left me and I’m only 2 months preggo, the bad part we had tried 10 months to get pregnant, now the dog left me. We argue but what couple dont, he thinks I like to argue. My husband has never been there for me emotional and it hurts so bad for me to be pregnant and carry all the heavy weight on me emotionally. So soon i will be moving back home to let my mother help me raise my child till I finish college. When I told him he got upset, but the dog is never here and he say i’m tryin to keep the baby away from him. To be honest my husband is an island guy and they put women 2nd. That’s why we can’t get along because i don’t play that at all. So my best advice to you all is it’s a very hard stage to get over but in time u will look back on it and say damn i was a fool in love. why did i even care for that guy back then.

• tena says:

  February 23, 2009 at 1:54 pm

  yeah am in the same lace as you this is my 1st child am 7 months now.he moved me to another state left me there did not pay no bills took both cars.i found motel papers woman texts and he hit me.so really im leaving was the best thing in life we talk on the phone every now and then and he say i act like a child because i moved back to the state am from.at this point in time i don’t even answer my phone when he calls i do not have time for him to talk to me like i did wrong and i broke up our so call family.i want my son to be born with no stress.he and i went to doctors to have this baby and as soon as it happen he changed.and today am alright with it.god will handle him and your husband just get a friend or family member you can talk to so you could let the pain out.

• Michele says:

  April 8, 2009 at 6:41 am

  The same for me, im almost 8 months pregant and my husband left me at 3 months. He stopped paying the bills,left me with no food or heat in our house and just moved back home with mommy and daddy. The house we rented was 2 months behind so I got eveicted and I had to pack the whole house up my slef. I was very very sick too with morning sickness. He abandoned me a left me to fend for myself, sick and with no job and no where to go. He still at this point has not helped me, I ask for money for food and he won’t give me any. I had to find a full time job so I could pay my bills. Thank god my ex boyfreind took me in or I would be living in a homeless shelter. I have no one. This is my first baby and im scared to death to have to child brith all by myself. What was supose to be the happiest day of my life has turned into my worst night mere.

• monica says:

  April 28, 2009 at 4:50 am

  Hi, my husband has just left me and i am 6 months pregnant with my third child.It was only 3 days ago and i just dont know how i am going to cope.I am still in the shock stage but keeping it together for my other 2 who are 11 and 9.He says he thought a baby would make everything ok,but it just confirmed feelings he had for a year that he wanted to leave.

• Donna says:

  April 29, 2009 at 5:48 pm

  It will be ok. You just have to have faith. My husband left when I was four months preg. and my little girl was 2.5. I now have a three month old and a three year old. It was hard and being preg. alone was the hardest part….you’ll feel better and be less emotional. I spent my fair share of time as a puddle on the floor — but I got up and took an anti-depressant and kept going….for the girl I had and the one on the way.

  It is hard — but it will be ok.

  D

• Jennifer says:

  August 9, 2009 at 8:14 pm

  I am going through the same things that you all are going through, but I don’t think I’m coping as well as some. My husband left me and I am two months pregnant. I have a 9 year old and an 18 month old. I lost my Mom (who was my best friend) a year ago and I lost my Dad 10 years ago. I am only 32, so I feel all, all alone. I need any help or support I can get. Please e-mail me any support groups for this cause.

• Beth says:

  August 16, 2009 at 2:14 pm

  Hi Jennifer,
  I feel so bad for you. My partner of 7 years just left as well. This is our second child together. He said we just werent compatable and he wanted to move on with his life. He left for a year when I was pregnant with our first with sme same excuse. He came back with promises and was great for 5 years until I got pregnant again. I feel bad that you do not have a support system. Please email me if you need anything. bethj1647@yahoo.com

• Tracy says:

  September 5, 2009 at 7:35 pm

  I’m shocked this happens to us women..especialy when we need our man the most. The same thing happened to me, agout 7 weeks ago when my boyfriend of over a year called it quits with me when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I thought I was going to die. He told me it was because he could not handle my 5 year old son any longer. That’s BS and he knows it and just a cop out to get out of resposability. Life sucks I’m not going to lie…all I want is for him to come back and have things back to normal..will I get my wish, who knows. I just know right now that having no contact with him helps somewhat. Just hang in there like the rest of us…we will somehow make it.

• Maryanne says:

  October 22, 2009 at 10:31 am

  Hi,
  I read all of your stories and have been in the same position myself but that was nearly 3 years ago.
  I was married for 10 years and had a 9 and an 11 year old and was pregnant with the third. I loved my husband dearly and we had been best friends forever. We had just moved to another country and he seemed to be quite stressed about his new job and the new country so I just kept supporting him as best I could. I didn’t know and couldn’t have imagined that it was neither the job nor the country which was stressing him. Sometimes I could talk to him and he would look at me blankly, not registering anything I was saying but analysing me.
  One evening he came downstairs with a letter in his hand. I had made him a nice cup of tea and had cut him up some fruit and wanted him to sit down and enjoy it with me. Instead he sat down and read out his letter to me. He’d fallen in love with someone else and was leaving. I should not do anything “silly”, he said and then he walked out the door. Complete disbelief. Who was this imposter? Not my man, for sure!
  I have had to move countries again, with the kids, set up a business as I need to earn money and salvage some sort of emotionally healthy family and today….3 years later I can say that we’re out of the danger zone. I will not collapse and die of grief after all. My kids will not grow up emotionally distraught. My baby (just had her 2nd birthday) is gorgeous and has almost become a replacement love for what we have lost. I still cry a lot and seek answers – that’s why I came across your website tonight. I don’t hold out any hope of trusting another man again. I struggle daily with money and compare my family constantly with those who are still intact, ie, still have daddy hanging around, and I seem to be inadequate on my own but, I am still here. My children know that in this strange life – their mummy loves them to death and we will be ok. My grief has watered down to sadness and I hope it will become just a small, little black spot on my life. I have it easy in another way. My husband (we are not divorced) lives in another country with his girlfriend and we only need to see him about twice a year, so I can pretend to myself that he died – which is so much more honourable than abandonment. I can honestly say that he is the loser. Imagine living without the love that your children give you.
  I hope some of you may be able to see past the immediate panic that you may now be in. It takes time. Take the time and go through the pain. You must process it to get over it. I wish you love and strength.

• Jennifer E says:

  October 24, 2009 at 1:22 pm

  Hello i’m 27 and i have a 4 yr old girl and am 2 months pregnant.Me and my ex separated 7 months ago.He wanted to have the single life and i was not having that.i still love hm so mush but he has caused me so much pain i ended up sleeping with him and thats why i am in this position right now.I know i should have known better but what can i say.When i told him i was pregnant he said how do i know its mine and his friends told him the same.I thought to my self i got into thi snow deal with it.Abortion was not an option for me because i should have been more responsible.Now that i need him he is not there for me at all emotional and financially.But i do believe in karma what ever goes around comes around.He and all the other men will regret it.By then it’ll be too late.It’ll be hard for me because i don’t have my mom i lost her when i was 20 and my dad left when i was a lil girl.I have 2 older bros and 3 older sisters and that its.I have no aunts ,uncles or Grandparents.Some ppl might be upset with me for getting pregnant but us women we always give the benefit of the doubt to the ppl we love even if they always screw us over.ANy ways got a lil side swiped.I;m a firm believer that things will get better if we don’t think that way imagine where we would be at.Good luck Single Mommies.:)

• Jessica says:

  October 26, 2009 at 1:18 am

  I too can unfortunately relate to what you all are going through. My husband also just left me about a week ago and I am 37 weeks pregnant with our third child. We have been together almost 8 years, been married 2 of those years, and have a 6 yr old boy and 2 yr old girl. He was my whole world and I am still terribly sad, but everyday it gets a little bit easier. Praying has helped me alot, and finding these sorts of discussions has also helped, because I know I’m not alone. Apparently this is becoming a trend for men. I may be stringing myself along, setting myself up for disappointment, but I kind of have this hope that once I have the baby, everything will be okay and maybe he’ll have a change of heart. I know that isn’t healthy to hope for but it’s keeping me sane for now. I stopped begging and pleading with him and I’ve decided to just give him his space, which according to what i’ve heard is the best thing to do at this point. But of course I still have that little “speck” of hope that he’ll come back, if I just give him time. I’m glad to know that in this difficult time that I’m not alone.

• Kesha says:

  November 19, 2009 at 7:08 am

  I am 2 months pregnant with our 2nd child; our 1st is 17 months. My husband left me on Friday and said he does not feel the same and wants out. We planned the 2n pregnancy. He also went on a meical leave from work on November 2nd for stress; an since I found out he has been speaking and texting another woman that also was on a medical leave from his office at one point. Our marriage was fine 3 weeks ago, we were planning out future then all the sudden, he’s done.. I am devestated, lost and feel like dying. I am still in love with him. I can;t stop crying. I am getting support from friends and family, but all I really want is him… how do I go on….

• Dana says:

  January 9, 2010 at 8:54 am

  My husband and I seperated for 8 months because I caught him doing meth. We have a 5 year old son and I have a 14 year old from a previous marriage. Our relationship wasnt going good and now I had a reason, I didnt even know he did drugs for along time, people told me but I didnt beleive it until I actually saw it. He would always tell me he didnt do drugs, but when I saw them i knew it was a lie. So I left and filed for divorce and moved out with the kids. After a while he seemed like he was really trying, I had him tested twice and he was clean both times so i moved back. In order to stop divorce preceedings he and I have to sign a paper. When i gave him the paper he said he didnt want to sign it. he just wants us to live together and he will continue to pay me support while i live with him. I have asked him why and all he said was his attorney advised him not to sign because if i file for divorce again I can go for more money. I said if you dont do drugs i wont have a reason to file again and things are going good, but he refuses to sign. do you have any advice for me? I love him, but i feel betrayed and not trusted.

• ann says:

  January 11, 2010 at 9:48 pm

  Hello ladies, yes I am also a victim of being left while pregnant. I have an 8 year old and 2 months pregnant. My husband and I have seperated at least 3 times. Mainly because he feels like he did not really get to live his single life. We have now been married going on 10 years and I clearly have been a fool and keep returning based on promises. This last time he left me for someone at work and when he had asked me to come back the girl claimed she was pregnant (she was clearly obsessed with him), she was never pregant, but regardless I stuck through that because I wanted to be pregnant and was actually jealous of her for about a month, that really hurt. So recently we have been trying desperately to have another child, and the night before I found I was pregnant he had just walked in and acted so strangely really upset and started arguing and eventually trying to choke me to death in front of our son while he was crying. After he bruised me up and everything I realized that he left his cell phone in his truck (never does that),so while he was sleep went throught text stating how he had met another woman at work,this time she was married and how she looked so good and how they can’t wait to kiss each other and so on. Long story short her husband is leaving her right now and my husband asked me to leave because if I can’t stop going thru his phone and can’t trust him anymore then it is over. You know he is absolutely right, I feel if you have any gut feeling about your husband or if he starts acting unusual check into it. He gave himself away by being so angry all because there was someone else. So I am packing up this week and moving this week back with my family and believe me have learned my lesson. Any man who could walk out on you when you are pregnant will walk out on you ANYTIME, just for the sake that they want to be single or there is someone else. I will get money from him and will not have to work for awhile, so that does ease the pain, but in the end he will be the one who regrets this precious time with his kids and takes the chance of possibly someonelse having to raise them. Most men absolutely hate that. For all you women who have experienced this type of pain, please seek GOD. I specifically asked GOD please give me a sign whether or not me and my husband would work out or go our seperate ways, and believe me when my husband said “I WANT YOU OUT”, I knew that was a clear sing from GOD,LOL. Of course I am still sad because of my kids, but in the end I know it was the right decision. LADIES SEEK GOD AND STAY STRONG!!!!! It will all work out, he will never put more on you than you can handle.

• ann says:

  January 11, 2010 at 9:58 pm

  Dana, I think that you know what is the right thing to do. Of course you are going to agree with him because I am sure you love him but honestly if that is a man’s excuse for your question why, he has no respect for you. It is so hard when you are actually still in the same household to try to file for a divorce, but believe me if you ever really decide to leave and you have family or friends who can push you, then believe me you would file for that divorce, becuase he is not there to butter you up. Go with your gut instinct, and just believe that GOD would never want any of his children to live like that and of course your kids. I know that you know the right choice, and I pray that you make it.

• Jennifer says:

  January 12, 2010 at 12:17 pm

  I am sorry to hear we are all in similar boats. My husband and I have been together almost six years. I am 33 which is 4 years older than he is. This has always caused issues as he is a heavy drinker and wants to party with his younger friends while my party days are behind me. My daughter is 21 months old and my husband was always a doting father. However, while I was pregnant with my daughter and shortly after her birth, if he did get the chance to drink and “let loose” he would become verbally abusive and on one or two occasions very physically abusive towards me.I threatened to leave two years ago when this was going on but he kept promising to change. This past summer I was pregnant with our second child and the verbal abuse kicked in again when I would not be up for partying. I then miscarried and we had been in an argument so I went and stayed with family two hours away, during the miscarriage and he went out the entire week. So I stayed away for 3 months. We saw each other on occasion and were kind of working on things but I didn’t see much change as far as higher levels of respect/less temper/less verbal abuse so I didn’t go back. I did, however, become pregnant again which was a surprise. I am now 4 months pregnant, we have been separated 4 months. 3 months into the separation and a few weeks after knowledge of the pregnancy, my husband said he’s going to quit trying to win me back and he’s ready for divorce. That made the end of the marriage more real to me and I was scared, hurt, and confused. I now hear he started seeing a band groupie a few weeks ago ( he sings in a band) and I am in shock as he had never had an affair or turned attention from me, and now instead of trying to work on his family life and respect levels with me he is truly over the marriage and allowing me and his daughter & unborn child to live 2 hours away. I am having trouble dealing with the fact that the family will never be whole again. I am seeking therapy which is helping a bit but I am definitely in the grieving process.

• kristy says:

  January 15, 2010 at 5:41 pm

  My husband and I are currently seperated.. I have a 15 y/o son and I am 4 months pregnant. My husband is in the military and left to go to the barracks to stay for 72 hours and then bam he has his own apartment!!! Not only is he leaving for his first tour in Afganastan in March, but he has stuck me with all the bills. I am scared alone and intimidated. I want to move home to Illinois from Washington state but have no job back home. He is coming with a bunch of guys from work to move his things out of the house tomorrow. I am so grieved by the circumstances. I gave up everything for him and then he ditches me while pregnant. Along with someone else’s comment I was looking forward to his love and support not expecting such cold hearted abandonment. Not too many people understand many people encourage me I am better off without him. If anyone needs support please contact me at:kris_rtr@yahoo.com wow… who would’ve known so many other woman are experiencing the same deep hurts. I feel like such a fool. I still love him just wish he loved us back. I am going to be praying for everyone on here. Sometimes I do not feel I can find any more strength to endure so I try to focus on God and let him handle it. So much easier said than done. God Bless

• Crystal says:

  January 18, 2010 at 9:56 pm

  WOW I never thought I would be on a website like this.. better yet I never thought I would be in the same situations as everyone else. My husband and I are seperated. As soon as he found out I was pregnant he started screaming and yelling you bitch you trapped me again. We had problems before as my six year old described an incident of him and my cousin in my own home so since then we have been at odds. But here I am pregnant with my thrid child we have a 17 month old and I have a six year old. He claims he never cheated but there was so many other things going on, I know he was and had been for a while. I am still in love with him, I still cry for him and I tell him I am praying for us for God to show us where to go as I truely believed he was the man God made for me but now he doesnt care. Its like he is oblivious to the pregnancy and to our family. We share custody of our daugher so I only see her every three days which sucks! Like many of you my life is turned up side down and the only thing I know to do is cry and pray as my family support is very limited.
  I think from reading these other post I will do everything on my own and act like I dont care about what he does or where he goes and hopefuly God will work on him and bring him home. If not I guess I will learn how to be a single parent of three children.
  We have to stay strong and find our strength in God and never give up, like another post put it, God will not give you what you cant handle. I am looking forward to, looking back on this time and saying, WOW I got through that, and look at me (or us) now.

• Nadia says:

  January 26, 2010 at 8:30 am

  Hi there,

  Im so sorry to hear of all the heartache. I am 6 months pregnant by my ex husband with my 3rd child.. We got divorced in 2007 and decided to give it another go. Everything was going well until 3 weeks ago. Just out of the blue he told me that things weren’t working and that he is moving out. I was totally devasted and still are. My dad came forward a few days later and told me that he caught him with another woman. I confronted him and it took him a few days to admit to having an affair. Everyting feels so unreal and after 9 years together and 2 beautyful little girls aged 5 and 4 he just leaves us like that. Without money, a car nothing.. Not even phoning his little girls just to say hi.My little baby is a boy and he was over the moon when he found out he was having a boy. How can someone be so cruel and cold hearted? I pray to God just to give me strenght to get through every day and to love my girls with all my heart… One day God will send each and everyone of us a special someone to love and care for us.

• lilly says:

  February 12, 2010 at 6:36 pm

  hello everyone.my husband left just over 3 weeks a go we have 2 year old girl and im8 weeks pregnant with our second child. this dog never call for this 3 weeks even to ask how his daugther doing.its was sunday morning when he said out of the blue i want to go back and live with his parents he said never call him and remind him about our daugther and that he doesnt want to know anymore not me not his daugther,he said he has nothing to loose.he also has been hiding his mobile phone for a while, so i know he has someone. but its ok let him go, he will regret it one day deeply.normaly guys like this will never settle they will be from one to another whole their life.

• Tan says:

  February 14, 2010 at 7:12 pm

  My husband left when i was 12 weeks pregnant. He wanted space after we had two years of rows and no decent communication. I was devestated when he said he loved me but didnt want to be married to me anymore. Of course i took this personally and became a wreck, emotionally and mentally. Then i had a miscarriage which started when he came to visit the children. He had no obvious reaction at all. Complete poker face. Then i had a visit from the mother in law. A powerful tool this one. She was on both sides. Her advice was to let him go as men dont deal with emotion crying arguments or nagging well.She helped me sort out my finances and told me to hit him her only son where it hurt as men do feel emotion when the money issue is brought in to play. Children equal money and men dont like to pay for what they dont have. Eventually and it will take time men will crawl back to the family as they find out grass is not greener on the other side, this even happens if husband has been having affairs as eventually the new woman will nag as much as the wife did and he will start to realise he has made a mistake. Sex wears off when reality hits home. Men will take a while as they dont like to admitt they are wrong. My advice to all women here is to focus on you and children, use his money to do up the house it will bother him that you are changing stuff. Do not call him unless its about the kids no matter how hard it is. no letters, texts nowt. Be upbeat when he is in contact and look fab not like a messy hairy cave woman with snot and swollen eyes. If you pull yourself together he will get worried you are moving on without him and may meet another bloke while hes paying.Do have fresh flowers in the house when he visits, empty bottles of wine and several glasses even if you dont drink it. Do make some attempts to not always be available. Dont mention the pregnancy but leave name books about he my not want to talk about it but boy is he thinking about it. Act as life is exactly the same if not better without him, i used this and it annoyed him like mad. But do use teh inlaws in tacttile manners dont think the ex inlaws are enemies just because the man is gone, you still have a bond and the mother in law will make it harder for the husband to have a new accepted relationship as she has grandkids. think lion and cubs. The mum is the only woman your husband will listen to at this point. She is your guardian angel so involve her in your pregnancy she will make sure the husband hears about it so you need not discuss it. No other woman here stands a chance against a pregnant wife who has all of his money and his mother. So if the other woman or suspected other woman is a threat bask in the knowledge you have secret ammo. Though always do please act like a queen never like a mental patient escapee even if your hurting like mad, Be polite, cool dignified and very very in control. Keep the house clean and kids happy. Kids talk to the father so he will be getting info about you through them. If he decides that he is never coming back which i doubt in most cases then you have made clear and clever steps forward to recovery. Most men go through crisis at some point and need to get way to think about it. women are stronger as they have to deal with many other issues at once. Men are not built like this its not there fault. Let the man go and do his thing the easier you make it the quicker he will return if he wants and he will do odd things to get the foot back in the door. Act coolly and get advice from mother in law who knows the son well as here he is as he would be as a child. Dont yell accuse or act like a nut job, no nagging no questions just let him ease his way in first as a friend if thats what you want then once hes comfortable talking and let him initiate this then maybe its time to reconcile, but do it slowy and gently with no emotion poking or going over old ground. Use this as a new start if the chance arises. If the husband has gone remember that you are still bonded to him by kids and relations. There is hope down the line. And if not you will be i promise a better person. I am and i cant thank my mother in law enough. So remember wallet equals emotion for men, and mother equals an army against much. Good luck ladies and may all of you have beautiful babies, love and future happiness. X

• Natosha says:

  February 18, 2010 at 10:53 am

  I can’t believe how many woman go thru this. My husband and I have been married for 6 yrs and have 2daughters I’m 18 weeks pregnant. My husband called me on Valentines Day and told me that he had a girlfriend and we are over. I’m still in a state of shock, I have no idea how to cope. I cry all the time, I just want this pain to be over. The worst part about it, is that he still calls playing mind games acting like he still wants to be with me and he still loves me but won’t come home. I have no idea what to think. My heart is sooo broke. God bless every woman who going thru this. These men need to be arrested. This should be a crime!!

• recee says:

  February 25, 2010 at 12:56 am

  Believe me it is a crime to abandon ur wife. I’m 16 weeks preg n. My husband left me a week ago for a ho. I’m filing for divorce,child support,abandonment, and allomony. I’m still coping with it but I knw jesus is here watchn over me n this baby and we’ll be ok.

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