My Boyfriend Talks About His Ex All the Time
Ask FreeloveMD | June 19, 2008
6 Comments
My boyfriend talks about his ex’s all the time. I don’t know what to do it drives me crazy and feel unimportant!
You need to confront him on this issue and understand his purpose for always talking about his past relationships. If you don’t get a clear answer then you need to move on and find someone who is focused on you and only you.
Caroline says:
July 10, 2008 at 11:26 am
tell him to stop talking bout his ex’s or it is over’ but 99% of the time it will work
maria says:
July 18, 2008 at 2:54 am
I have the same problem and it’s very frustrating.
It sure doesn’t make me feel special. Besides when we are out on a date and he brings the ex subject is like we are 3 going on a date. I believe is because they are not totally over the relationship yet. Obviously if he talks about her is because she’s on his mind, i don’t know if in a negative or positive way but still in his mind. Truth is i’m not prepared to compete with his ex, the situation is not getting better either , therefore i’ll have to walk away from the relationship. They don’t give you another choice, i can’t enjoy my relationship and give (or get) 100% because of some ghost from the past?? it isn’t fear. I’m ready to throw the towel and it sounds as if you are getting there.
sharon says:
July 20, 2009 at 10:40 am
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!! I know the feeling my spouse talks about his ex’s all the time and then turn and ask me about mine, Im like I don’t wanna talk about them, that is in the past so let’s leave it there. I don’t wanna hear about his and I don’t wanna talk about mine. What does this mean he is still having a problem letting them go or what? I have been getting sick and tired of hearing this. What should I do ?
Heather says:
August 26, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Mine talked about his ex all the time also. I bit my tongue for about 5 months. Finally I just really reamed him out one day. He said that he will talk about whatever the f$&k he wants- exact words. BUT, he must not have wanted to talk about her because he never brought her up again. That was almost 3 months ago.
The damage is done though, it still really hurts.
Kathy says:
February 14, 2010 at 9:18 pm
Wow!!! Just finished reading the posts here and before reading, my guy made me feel like I was the one with the problem..blah, blah, blah. I knew (intuition and experience) that he still was not emotionally divorced from his ex-wife but I still moved forward trying to see only the good in him, as a person, and not his past life. He would talk about his ex-wife A LOT. He has a young child with his ex so they are in constant communication. He is so angry about what she and her mother did to him during the relationship. I thought after two months of us dating that he would be able to see the good in our relationship and heal from the past. Boy, was I ever wrong!!! All through the relationship I had to deal with his issues from his ex..he would get close to me and then pull away. I became quite worn out of walking in his ex-wife’s shadow of the abuse she instilled upon him. Anyway, this past Friday (2/13/10), I shared with him how he had been treating me. At first I thought it was a mistake in telling him but now I realize how much of a blessing it was. He blew up at me, not understanding where I was coming from, he said a few “choice words” and said, “We are done.” He told me he had been in counseling for two years because of her. That was probably the biggest red flag…how did I miss that one!!!…lol. So very happy now!! Best of luck to you all!! Thanks for listening.
Amanda says:
March 6, 2010 at 1:54 am
I had that very same problem as all of you my now ex bf would talk about his ex a lot and when he saw her at the store or near his house he’d be like there is so and so and would seemingly follow her in the store. I just turned 24 in January and he turned 37 3 weeks later and he was my first real boyfriend. I met him at a mutual friends party in August and we started talking on the phone and texting. He automatically thought we were dating from the first day I met him. We dated for 3 months and then I moved in with him after him nagging me, and he lives four hours away and in a different state then I do. Things were good when we didn’t live together except for Halloween the town he lives in has a Halloween Parade and he brought me to meet friends of his but he also brought me to a friend who was having a party that the ex was at to make her jealous. From what I understand they were together for 5 years and she has two kids around my age that he calls his step kids even though they were never married. I didn’t mind him talking about them I just didn’t want to hear about their mother all the flipping time. And he liked to accuse me of cheating which I would never do to anyone, and he didn’t tell his family I was living with him (he lied to me and my family about that as well he told us that they knew). After living with him for a few days his whole attitude changed, he started getting mentally and emotionally abusive with me so a week after I moved in I moved out. The day I moved out we had a huge fight about him talking about his ex a lot and the whole family thing and he denied all of it blaming me saying he could deal with my emotions. A week after I moved out we started talking and were gonna try the friend thing. But on my birthday he asked when in a text when I was moving back in and the next day he implied he slept with some chick he met at the bar or a party. Now he sporadically texts or calls me and won’t leave me alone after I repeatedly told him to piss off.