My Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust Me
Ask FreeloveMD | May 3, 2008
15 Comments
My boyfriend of two years recently told me he doesn’t trust me. I have talked to him about my feelings for him and I have never done anything to make him feel this way. I don’t want to end the relationship because I love him, but he doesn’t seem to be trying to work on anything.
Maybe you need to move on because a relationship does not work without trust. You may want to talk to him about why he does not trust you if you have done nothing wrong. Why would you want to be in a relationship that does not seem to be going anywhere. He is not trying to make things better or to improve the relationship so I think it is time to let him go. Stop trying to make someone be something they are not. You need to find someone who will love you and trust you for you.
Jazzy says:
September 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm
hey my boyfriend doesn’t trust me either… we’ve been dating for about a year. we work at the same job and had the same exact shift and days off. but recently i moved to day shift and he works pm shift. i don’t know if that’s going to be better or worst, because if he didn’t trust me when he was with me 24/7 i can just imagine what he will think now…i’ve been talking to one of my guy friends about his issues and my issues and if you talk to a guy friend, they see things so different than we do, after talking to him and asking him about arguments we had and what he thought… boys are really funny they like over or over analyze things. it’s weird. good luck
synsyn says:
September 21, 2008 at 10:53 pm
You think you have it bad , i been with my bf 4 years and sometimes i fear going on the front porch in fear of being questioned.
sometimes i feel like i am a whore..he treatens to leave me , im just not sure what i do wrong every day … ive been but honest and faithfull but due to his past its not enouh….
im hurt alot most of the time but dont know what to do
sarah says:
December 11, 2008 at 7:34 am
hi my boyfriend does not trust me either,he was out one night in my town were i live and he said he saw friends of mine who are no longer friends and they were saying some really nasty things about me about my past with other men,some of the things were true but it was completely over the top what was said and really cruel things that i never did,he was drunk and started texing me really hurtful and abusive texts to me so when i woke i was devastated,firstly that what used to be a good friend slagging me off behind my back,secondly for saying things that were not true and thirdly for him being told that stuff,and because i said some of it was true he just cant stop making little comments at every oppurtunity he can more so when he has had a drink,i dont know what to do,the other night i was just admiring some xmas lights and there happened to be a group of guys sat in front of them and he just said do you know them do you as if i had been around them all, i was so hurt but i cant seem to say anything to stick up for myself without him thinking i am in a mood,he said i was his princess before all this was said and now he feels that it has been destroyed by the stuff he was told,now he lives in my town and i worry everyday what my friend may say or tell someone else so they can spread it around,i live on my nerves everyday,i feel so invaided of my old personal life and i have never cheated on him ever i really dont know what to do as its really getting me down,i love him dearly and tell him all the time,please someone help me if they can,i feel that he is destroying me because of my past which to be honest was not even bad,its just fabricated,i cant even smile at someone without him thinking im a whore he said its always men i look at but its not i smile at everyone what is wrong with that he said its wrong,i just dont know which way to turn and i just want a nice xmas and feel safe and sucure and i dont,he has now moved in with an old friend which happens to be a girl i have had to accept that,but i feel its all slowly slipping away and he will screw me over then have a great life in my town,and ill be left being hurt and feeling like im something i am not…………:(
Rose says:
April 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm
i am in a similar boat to you
because of my past (which i dont consider to be all that bad) my mister said that he cannot trust me fully… there was one drunken text i sent whilst in uni that he read which is the closest and only time i have come anywhere near close to cheating. He has said he needs a few days to mull things over.
i love him so much………….
these slappers from town keep stiring things up and spreading stupid rumours about me and because of them i may now loose the lvoe of my life.
I dont blame him because these slappers are mates of his but i feel so used and helpless because theres nothing i can doo
Elizabeth says:
April 19, 2009 at 10:48 pm
my boyfriend has a problem to he drills me about whatever i have done that day calls me a lier tells me that i am sleeping with my friends says i dont love him when i do i told him he needs to trust me and that i havent done anything to disieve him but he has to me he cheated on me and i have forgiven him but he still just goes on and on and i get tired and the similar thing happened to me a guy was sitting in front of me but i was look at the girl in front of the guy cause i thought i knew the girl then he looked over and me got real mad and asked me what i was looking at i said the girl i thought she was a friend he called me lier and told me to sit down and be quite i got up and left the movies went outside but i didnt have a ride home so i went back inside he followed me and asked me if i went outside me to meet my other boyfriend this makes me mad everything i do makes him think i am cheating on him i dont know what to do i cant leave him for certain reasons and its just makes me mad i asked him to stop but he wont listen its making stressed out and scared i really need help i cant take it
j mystery says:
April 20, 2009 at 10:42 pm
well i’m a situation where i’m sick of his bs he’s always been insurcure about our relationship and never trusted me from the very start which was 5 yrs ago, when he’s the one who actually ended up cheating on me and i forgave him but never forgotten about it.Anyways it should be me going crazy and instead its him always all over me not giving any personal space fearing that i’ll go ahead and do the same really i have no time for kid games so there for i will not scoop down 2 that level anyways sticking around 2 see how things wind up if not he might be out the door soon feelin strong and ready for a new blissful life! Jenny
Rita says:
May 6, 2009 at 1:10 am
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2 years… The thing is with him… he doesn’t trust me… He says he does… but if I so mention a guy friend, he immediately starts questioning me, or if he see’s a message with a guy friend, he starts to analyze that too… It’s insane because he thinks everything I do is flirting… and that I want to have sex with my friend in question… If I happen to flirt, then so be it, because that’s the way I am, I just see it as me being polite or sometimes funny.. but he doesn’t understand that it means nothing beyond that. I am starting to think that me and him are not meant to be if he can’t accept who I am, who my friends are and he can’t trust it… It tears me apart sometimes. I know I should take my own advice, but this is what I have to give to you… Don’t allow someone to change you, or change your ways for that matter, meaning your friends and doing what makes you happy. If they cannot accept you the way you are, then it’s not meant to be and they will never accept it. The first step is acknowledging to yourself that they will never change, and NEITHER WILL YOU.
I’m not saying I’m happy to hear all of you other girls talking about this, but I’m glad I’m not the only one, because it felt like it.
dudu says:
May 29, 2009 at 4:40 am
we broke up last night, i have done every thing in my power to make sure that he lives a good life, whenever he wants to make love, i do it, he is not working, i buy him every thing and believed that one he will be fine and will be able to take care of me , just now we were making love and i gave him every position he wanted but he started saying i smell a condom and called me all names, and broke up with me, when we are at the mall i mustns’t look around, i mustns’t have friends,when we go to church and he says i love tha guys who are singing or the pastor, i give this guy every thing, it stops here and now, his not even my husband, i would understand if he put a ring on my finger, but he didnt so why should i put myself through this , ohh no!!!! i love myself, i am beautiful and i can have any man i want, there is a man out there who would love to have a woman like me!!!!!!! and you know!! i will not stop loving or make some one else to suffer the the sins of another, when i fall in love again i will love like i was never hurt before, so girls stop filling sorry for yourself, when you love yourself you will know how you want somebody else to love you and you will not take any less, leave the fool his a loser, as for my bf i learned to leave with him and i will learn to leave without him before he came i lived and after his gone i will still live and i will have all my money to myself !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vicky says:
July 27, 2009 at 10:06 am
I read all of these feeling like I was reading something I had written in the past, over & over again untill the present. I wasn’t perfect with my b/f in the beginning, but at least I was OPEN & HONEST about it. I knew I still had feelings for my ex & I expressed them….these are the reasons why to this day he claims he cannot trust me. How fair is that though, when I was honest in the first place about those feelings! I know he is not the reason why I suffered panic attacks but that hasn’t made our lives any easier, as it crippled me for 3 solid years[unable to work, go to school, etc etc]. But now, that I am finally getting away from all that madness, he is scared that our relationship will end. He non stop questions me…even wakes me in the middle of the night to do so. He has been here for me through so much…I want to tbe here for him during his rough time but, I’m afraid I will lose all my progress in return. Self preservation is what I’m facing, & with him not working or going to school…It cannot be afforded. So ultimately, it seems it has to be drawn to a close. Just remember…”If you love someone, let them go, if they come back to you, it’s eternal”
Sairrrbear :) says:
September 15, 2009 at 7:59 am
well me and my boyfriend alex have been really good friends before we started dating and now that we are dating everything was good at first but now that the relationship is getting more serious he is starting not to trust me and he is the one who cheated on me and shit and i never did anything for him not to trust me, and he gets mad if i go to school ! he thinks im going to cheat on him, i have to tell him what im doing 24-7 but when i want to know about him he gets all mad and he doesnt know how to communicate with me. he always makes things seem like its my fault when its not. im not perfect either but i dont intentionally try to hurt him . i admit my mistakes. but hes always right. i just dont know what to do anymore, im starting to feel deperessed.
MzSweet says:
November 18, 2009 at 1:01 am
My boy friend doesnt trust me because one time i wrote a note to my friend in class and didnt tell him what it said because it was about him. So for weeks he was beging me to tell him so i just said “its about you and my ex!” and so of coures he got mad…. Also a nother dum reason is because im always talking to my bff and he gets mad because i dont tell him what im saying cause its my bis not his. But i really like him and he really likes me and weve been dating for two years and i dont know what to do!?
MzSweet says:
November 18, 2009 at 1:04 am
srry my name was sopos to be MzSweet<3 not mzsweet…and ya bye =)
Ash says:
February 8, 2010 at 8:16 am
My bf and I had a fight last night about many things. He said he basically does not trust me. We are getting ready to start looking for a house together. He is excited and I am a little nervous about the money and all the paperwork and finding the right place. We are both in our later 20s. He knows how I feel and thinks I over analyze things especially this. He thinks I feel this way because I don;t want to be with him and I don’t love him enough. I know this is not the case, but convincing him is a challenge. I live 4 hours from home and I have not said a word to any of my family about us moving in together and buying a house. I figured I would wait until I know we got a place and then break the news. He thinks it is because I do not want to share to them how serious the relationship is. I explained I just want my family to be supportive and not to tell me their opinions about the cost of a house and if he is really worth living with. I already know what I want to do with or without their thoughts. I don’t know, am I being ridiculous here and crazy? Is this really worth him getting so upset at me and saying he does not trust me? Can someone help me see a different perspective? Otherwise, how can we move on? I know a relationship is based on trust, but how can I make him trust me when I have nothing to hide and I am not being “secretive?”
yovanka says:
February 16, 2010 at 5:10 am
from experience,if u honestly never ever did anything for himt o distrust you,
and maybe hes been caught in a few lies ….hes the one who should not be trusted.
because he is getting away with it without you ever knowing.it could be taklking to ex’s inapproproatly,having sex with other women,or getting girls phone numbers…..bottom line its all trust issues hes breaking hence makes him wonder what u dont know might be the same for him ….or hes childish and runs off doing stupid distrustful things.or maybe he has and now your getting sick of it….and might do it back for payback!
Kate says:
March 9, 2010 at 2:53 pm
My boyfriend has cheated on me in the past and I try my hardest to give it another go. No matter what I do I’m wrong. He accuses me of not caring, and also tells me that he doesn’t trust me. He doesn’t like me talking to other guys, or even accepting their requests on facebook or MSN messenger. He constantly checks up on my texts, yet he is the one who cheated. What is wrong?