Is My Boyfriend Using Me?
Ask FreeloveMD | March 24, 2009
7 Comments
I am worried that my boyfriend is just using me. We have been dating for almost 8 months and we are both in college. Most of the time we are studying hard, so unfortunately that doesn’t leave us much time for each other. When we do find time we have sex and usually fall a sleep. He calls me and texts me but not too much and I do the same. He likes outdoors and so do I, but he never asks me to go hiking with him. This week is spring break and today he went fishing and he told me that he will stop by to see me after he comes down from the mountains. And last night he went out with a bunch of friends and he didn’t invite me, he called me after he was done to come and see me but, I had already gone out with my friends and left my phone behind. Why would he think that I will be waiting at home for him to stop by for only about an hour since he “had to go home and get rest for the fishing trip”? I am getting tired and I would like this to become a real relationship. I don’t know how to start the conversation? I tried breaking up with him before and I refused to see him for days (although we did text each other in civilized manner) but after that he showed up at my door telling me how much he was missing me. I am so confused! What does he want from me?
P Feliz says:
May 9, 2009 at 10:30 pm
I’ve known my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I have to say, he’s the best at treating a girl, like: Taking me out, planning activities to do together, opens the door for me, cooks for me… all those great things. The problem is, that I’ve been divorced for a long time, I got married when I was very young (20) and so did he(21). Unfortunately, he is still married to his ex and the mother of his child. They have been legally separated for almost 2 yrs now. She pretty much gave us hell at the beginning of the relationship, but she eventually accepted. Moving from that, I’ve always had some trust issues with him for some things he did before we got serious, so I couldn’t really demand much. But now he feels like things are going too fast for us, and this is after “I love You’s” and seeing eachother very often and spending lots of time together. He knows I want to get married again, have children, not necessarily next year or the year after, but that is what I’m working towards. He says he wants the same things but doesn’t want a timeframe, because that just makes him freak out and run. Which he did. He decided he wanted a break and I told him I didn’t need any breaks I was sure of what I wanted and if he didn’t I would prefer to break up.
So, we did. 8 days later he calls me and tells me he misses me, that he’s been thinking of me all the time, about what can he do differently to make me happy. So I decided to give him another chance. The day after this, he tells me that we can’t celebrate his b-day together, his sister is taking him out to dinner and she only wants him to go, I told him I would pay for my meal, but still he insisted. After this we spoke again and he was on his way from the casinos with a co-worker, and I didn’t even know this outing. He always makes plans with his brothers, other family, and friends and most of the time those plans don’t include me. He says that I most be out of my mind if he has to tell me where or what he’s going to do. I don’t expect him to ask for permission but out of consideration, at least he could tell me, I’m his girlfriend after all! Now if he calls me and I don’t answer the call for whatever reason, he doesn’t take any of my calls for that entire day. Should I leave this asshole who doesn’t seem to care much about hurting my feelings?? The biggest problem is that I love him so darn much!! But everyone tells me he’s no good for me and that I can do better, but when we broke up I was devastated!!!!
tiffany lewis says:
June 8, 2009 at 9:56 am
I think the first thing you should do is start dating. He does not need to know. He has treated you with disrespect.It is hard to leave a relationship because life can be lonely and sometimes i think thats what cuses depression or anxiety not the actual person or breakup.start by communicating with other guys.italianpeoplemeet isa good dating website . be choosy,but you can flirt and have fun.I just broke up with my boyfriend. I stopped taking his calls.We were together for a year.his ex wife asked for him back and he has been going to dinner with her with the kids. jus tlike a date.although she is married and he caught her cheating on him when they were married. he still treats her with more respect than I.I guess i am saying your not alone. Life is tough.you dont have to move on until your ready.You will know when its time and we are all on our own timeline.For now strt flirting and talking to other guys.enjoy your life. god bless tiffany
sherstin hogg says:
October 2, 2009 at 5:10 pm
my boyfriend has only one thing on his mindis sex he 27 and iam 36 is that because his age or he’s using me?
sherstin hogg says:
October 2, 2009 at 5:15 pm
i have been with this person for 3 yrs and verby abuseive and if i dont give him sex he is even worse
sherstin hogg says:
October 2, 2009 at 5:22 pm
pleas give me advise my is only want sex but when want it he buysme things please ineed help
JW says:
October 14, 2009 at 6:02 am
I had a boyfriend who were exactly like that. I feel like my old self wrote this on this website! After a year of very tiring and emotionally draining relationship we finally broke up, and now I am with a new person who is completely different. I am extremely happy now and thanks to my previous experience, I learned to be able to avoid bad guys. I hope you trust more in yourself, say goodbye to him and never turn back.
yanira says:
February 13, 2010 at 7:24 pm
My fiance keep telling me how he is not blind to keep up or that. Look what I can have and I’m here with u imean how stupid I’m I to be with him right. I love him but he puts me down I even lost 5 sizes for him to be hjappy I was an 12 now I’m a 7 and he still thinks I’m fat that I dnt have a nice body. What should I do he call me names when his mad I can’t take it but I love him I need help I think I’m crazy. I just dnt get how I can b with some1 like him? He also keep talking bout our age difference maybe cause ur old I’m only 3 yrs older !!!!