I Love Her But She Has a Boyfriend
Ask FreeloveMD | September 17, 2009
1 Comment
I love her but she already has a boyfriend! I am a 39 year old guy and I’ve fallen in love with my 31 year old female friend. The problem is that she has a boyfriend and I’m the kind of person who does not get involved with someone who has a boyfriend. I just can’t seem to get her out of my head! I’m constantly thinking about her and dreading the day that she will be so busy with him that she will have little time for me. When we’re together everything is wonderful, until she starts talking about her boyfriend. I really want to tell her how I feel but I’m afraid of what her reaction will be and how it will impact our relationship. I couldn’t stand to loose her as a friend but I feel either way, I’m going to lose her.
Start by being honest with her and yourself. Try to find out exactly what the status of her relationship is with her boyfriend. Then at some point you need to tell her that you have feelings for her and would like to be more than friends. This is obviously a delicate topic, but it’s better to be true to yourself than miserable through denial.
blueeyes says:
September 18, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I would just add that you should make sure you make it clear to her that no matter what you value your friendship and do not want anything to come in the way of it. Though that can be harder said than done if she does not reciprocate your feelings. It might be best to take a “break” from your friendship for a short time so that neither of you feel uncomfortable and then plan on meeting up in a neutral environment sometime later to catch up and reconnect. This also would be a good time for her to really process what you said and have a chance to think about it. I agree with Joe though, it is best to tell her how you feel because you never know what the future holds!