I Do Not Trust Women
Ask FreeloveMD | January 6, 2009
3 Comments
I feel betrayed, now I do not trust any women! My wife and I were married for 5 years. She left me and quickly started talking to a younger guy, they are now dating. She says our separation had nothing to do with him, she blames everything on me (that I was hard on her, that I was self centered and abusive). But I always worked so hard for her and wanted to give her such a better life than what she had. She claims I didn’t love her. I think she either really believes that or she has convinced herself so that it makes it easier. She said if I get a girlfriend she doesn’t want to know about it, she still couldn’t handle it…I don’t get it, she has someone but she can’t see me with someone??? I have been alone now for 8 months I have met a couple of girls but I can’t get myself to do anything with them and I see and look for the bad traits in them. I don’t even feel a sexual need around them and I was the kind of guy that sex 2 or 3 times a day wasn’t enough. I feel more alone now than I did several months back. I sleep late most of the time and I tend to get into negative conversations with friends. I don’t have a “real” friend that I can talk to. I feel like I’d be better off dead, I just can’t do that to my family. I love my family but can’t let them know how lonely I am since we really don’t talk about those kinds of things. My friends have been pushing me into going out but all the women I meet out there are lost and shallow. I want someone to love me for who I am not what I drive or what I do for work. My life is falling apart and I feel more lost than when I was in my 20’s. Is it me, did I deserve what she did or have I been betrayed?? What can I do to heal? How can I stop looking at women as bad selfish people?
Jennifer says:
January 7, 2009 at 9:13 am
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve just gone through something similar. I have lost my ability to believe in anyone because I trusted him so much and he just completely betrayed me and shut me out. And I kept thinking about suicide, etc. but it’s been 4 months now and I suddenly had a revelation. I thought of the time I had given to this man, then I thought of the next 20 years as being a gift that I could do anything I want with. I could either grow old and bitter and cry everyday or I could just live a good life, take care of myself and not devote one more minute to crying over him. and I have been crying,about 10 times a day, but yesterday I did not cry at all. Please try to think of yourself and not the person that tried to destroy you. don’t give them the satisfaction of taking your future away from you..
E says:
January 10, 2009 at 10:28 pm
You have to be strong. I can see you aren’t ready to meet someone new, so don’t let your friends push you into it. Your sex drive will come back when you meet the right girl. Don’t worry about that! Right now, maybe spend more time with your family. If you killed yourself, your family would suffer so bad, worse than what you are feeling. So please don’t be selfish. Things will get better for you. And when you do meet the right girl you will know. You’ll get that butterfly feeling in your tummy. It sucks what she did, but you do realize what comes around goes around. One day she get her hurt broken. We all do. What happened to you will only make you stronger and more aware in your next relationship. Life is a learning experiance. From what you wrote, it seems this girl didn’t appreciate your love. Some people are givers and others takers. She was a taker that was never satisfied. Trust me, there are women out there that would love a man like you to shower them with love and devotion. Just stay strong. I can’t say that enough. Day by day you will feel better. And another thing, stop talking to her. If you take her calls, it’s just going to put you back to square one again with a rush of feelings. No emails, calls, text messages! Start your new life in a new year and good luck my friend.
ashley says:
February 4, 2009 at 4:18 am
hi there.
i want you to know that i am currently dating a man who was in your shoes (maybe even a little worse). when we met we decided that we would just be friends because he did not trust women and NEVER wanted to be in a relationship again. i was not okay with that per say but i knew that he had no reason to trust me and i was okay with just being friends. we had similiar hobbies and could find at least two days a week to come together to do them. our friendship slowly grew and for a year we continued on that way. the day he told me he was in love with me i just had started dating someone and i really wanted them to meet (after all i considdered him my best friend). i went over his house to ask him. the news hit him like a train. he suddenly looked so defeated, like someone had punched him in the gut, and he says it right there as if it were vomit he couldn’t hold down “i love you”.
the point of this story is to let you know. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. you may not think you will ever love again, you may not want to. but there is no point in that. love is a many splendid thing, don’t let the shadow of your past cast over your bright future ahead. you will move on. you will find someone new. you just have to open the window a crack to allow that new person to put a foot in, and the rest will happen. p.s. everyone has their faults