I Am The Only One Who Cares
Ask FreeloveMD | June 9, 2008
1 Comment
I feel like I am the only one who cares! I have known my boyfriend for over 9 years now and this is our third go around. We got back together in August 2007 and moved in together in October 2007. I found out I was pregnant in December 2007. We are still together but he won’t tell me he loves me and says he does not want to get married right now, but that he wants to work things out with me and be there for the baby. I get frustrated because we constantly fight and I feel like I don’t mean much to him. I care about him and love him and hope things work out but sometimes I feel it is a lost cause. I feel he is only with me cause of the baby. When I address the issue with him about marriage or love he gets defensive. He brings up the fact that before I got pregnant we had an agreement that we wouldn’t get married because of the baby. But shortly after I got pregnant my feelings changed and he tells me that I am breaking the agreement. Am I wrong for wanting more from him?
Beau says:
June 15, 2008 at 8:43 pm
As a man, this guy (please forgive my language, I don’t use it often) totally pisses me off. I’m sorry that he turned out to be so weak. Please know that he doesn’t represent the whole of manhood. Perhaps he bothers me so much because I once was as cowardly as he is. This is what should have been said to me very gently, but matter of factly, and then followed through upon post-haste:
“Marry me, or it’s time to go.”
Don’t wait on him. If you’re waiting on a proposal, you’re not likely to get it, so hold his feet to the fire.
I would have married my wife of ten years a lot sooner, and wouldn’t have many of the regrets I now do about the weaknesses and fears, which so plagued me then.
Also, keep in mind that your body was made as a temple to be worshiped by a husband… (Read Song of Songs for further details) if he ain’t your husband, then lock the temple doors. He is disrespecting you if he wants to do otherwise.
If this information seems harsh, then disregard it. But the world has a shortage of good men, and the likelihood that a young lady like you will pick one who doesn’t have a clue about what it means to be a man, is becoming all too common place. It’s sad, because neither boys or girls are brought up to understand what manhood really is. And until men in the world remember their roots, it’s going to be up to the ladies of the world to get back into the role of gatekeeper, and not giving “grown boys” a place to display their bad behavior - like living with you, getting all the benefits of marriage, but being too cowardly to make a real commitment. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m being harsh with you. I have nothing but sympathy and respect for you, and I’m sorry that you now find yourself in this situation. Maybe you should let him read this response.
Finally. God bless you and your child. I’ll be praying for you, that your man grows a backbone sometime in the near future, and steps into the role of responsible provider.
Beau
http://www.screensplinters.com