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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » How Do I Know If He Is “The One”

How Do I Know If He Is “The One”

Ask FreeloveMD | April 28, 2008

1 Comment

How do I know if he is “the one”, if I have only ever dated him?

When I was fifteen years old I fell in love with my current boyfriend. Shortly after we started dating, he joined the Marine Corps. For almost two years now we have been in a long distance relationship. I haven’t minded until now because I love everything about him. I can honestly see myself spending my life with him. However lately I’ve been freaked out. This guy is the first guy I’ve ever loved (even the first I’ve ever kissed). I’m scared that maybe I’m wrong, it’s a possibility that a fifteen year old doesn’t know everything. I am finding that I want to date some other people to reaffirm what I already know about my current boyfriend. The problem is I can’t keep him and do that at the same time. I need help.

If you have doubts then listen to your inner voice. I sense you’re just over thinking the situation. However, it might be good for both of you to have a brief separation. The only problem with this is that both people are usually never on the same page and one views it as a break-up. You’ve already had a long distance relationship with him which is almost the same thing as separating for a time. If you date other people then anything could happen. It would also be the same for your boyfriend. How does your boyfriend feel? Take it slow. You may not need to date other people to reaffirm your feelings. Your letter indicates that you’re not even 20 yet. Examine other aspects of your life and wait until you’re ready to make decisions like marriage.

This question was answered by Joe, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

1 Comment So Far

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  • WWID says:
    May 5, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    I’ve been in almost the exact same situation as you. except i was 17 and had dated one guy b/4 my now-husband. i think it’s possible to know that you’re supposed to be with someone from a young age, but it’s also totally normal to have feelings of self-doubt when you’re making a long term commitment. when we got to the point of talking marriage, i totally felt the same way you do - wanting to know what else was “out there,” wondering if i really knew what i was doing. i’m not someone who believes in “soul mates” so i believe that if i’d chosen to move on, someone else would have been out there for me. but i decided that we had a pretty good thing going, and keeping that was worth “sacrificing” whatever other dating relationships i may have had down the line. i’m not going to tell you that decision has been easy - but i don’t regret it. one thing i would say - in agreement with the expert above - you can commit to stay together but DO wait on the marriage front. you don’t have to decide that right now!

    *good luck!*
    http://www.whywasidissed.com

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