He Says He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
Ask FreeloveMD | May 2, 2008
2 Comments
I have been dating this guy for a little over two months now, and we are perfect together, the problem is lately he says he doesn’t know what he wants. We get along great, and he admits he doesn’t really have any complaints. In the beginning of our relationship, I was a little reluctant to get involved because I’d been a bad relationship in the past. He has too and convinced me to give it a shot. A few weeks later he found out his mom has terminal cancer which is something I’ve dealt with having lost my own mom to cancer 2 years ago. Recently an ex girlfriend who really hurt him in the past and called to make sure he was okay. A couple weeks later he started acting a little distant and finally said he’s not sure what he wants. He doesn’t want to end the relationship completely, but he feels we may be best friends more than anything else. He says he is afraid of hurting me and is very stressed out about his mom. I told him I understood, but I wasn’t ready to through in the towel. He assured me he really likes me, but is confused about what he wants with any girl. He wants to give it time to see how it goes. I haven’t felt like this for somebody in years and feel he might be comparing me to his ex (who he dated for two years). How do I get him to let his guard down and realize it takes time to develop feelings instead of rushing it? Do you think it’s worth sticking around?
rosie says:
January 26, 2009 at 3:41 am
I just was in a relationship I was in for 2 and half years he wants me he wants his space he tells me he misses me but after 4 or 5 days he is ready to leave I know he is on online dating sites and has been of and on every since we meet he even ask me to marry him but never every talk about it after I got the ring so we would break up and get back together I love this guy with all my heart and I feel as if he is my soul mate in this life we love doing all the same things and have a great sex lift I treated great never cheated on him I worked very hard to make it work so one day I sat him down and ask him where this relationship was going and all he could say was I don;t know I said you know how I feel about you and I am not getting any younger and I can;t get interested in anyone else as long as he is in the picture and he said I know its not fair to keep me hanging on so I ended the relationship I spoke of how I needed to get married and I was in control of my emotions never cried and to the point not blaming anyone I told him I wasn;t going to see him again and sleep on the couch that nite and left the next morning.I miss him so much but not going to call him or pressure him into any thing I should have done it sooner but needed him in my life and still do but I have a right to be happy with him or without him I am scared I lost him for good. I know he is dating.So any women that is with a men who can;t commit and gave him many chances to do so and lots of time to know what he wants then it time to get out and stay strong and try to find someone to whom to will be able to want to marry her and make her feel secure in a relationship.
Stalker says:
February 17, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I understand about his mom’s cancer being a stressful point in his life,and your relationship with him is still so new that he is probably not attached to you yet.I think that the ex-girlfriend calling has a lot to do with why he is trying to be distant and wants to use the cancer situation as an excuse to rekinde things with the ex.Go out with other people ASAP and don’t look back.I know that he is seeing this as flattering that the old girlfriend would contact him and try to get back into his life.You deserve better.Any man who tells you that they don’t know what they want really means that they don’t want to give up the possibility of being with many many women.