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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » He Is So Self Centered

He Is So Self Centered

Ask FreeloveMD | July 14, 2008

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I feel like my husband of three years is being so self centered and I almost feel bad for not allowing it. We have not been on a vacation alone since our honeymoon because of a planned pregnancy. We love her and she is not the issue BUT: He is an American soldier. I support what he does whole heatedly, but since his 15 month deployment I feel as though he takes his home lifestyle for granted. He has told me that when he gets home he and his friends are going to Amsterdam to party for a week. I’ve tried to discuss how this makes me feel, but he blows me off saying “its my dream, I’ve been in Iraq”. He doesn’t seem to even take into consideration our 2 1/2 year old’s feelings, mine or that of our marriage. Some days I just want to tell him I hate him and to go to Amsterdam but don’t come home. Is this me being inconsiderate?

Not at all. You have a life too and with a child it’s stressful and important as well. I don’t know what kind of support system the service provides for wives of soldiers, but it’s definitely a huge need. It appears too late to resolve this Amsterdam issue, but at the earliest you need to have a serious conversation with him about your family and its needs as well as yours. Being a soldier is very important, but your family should come first unless unforeseen circumstances make it impossible.

This question was answered by Joe, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

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