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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » He Is Cheap

He Is Cheap

Ask FreeloveMD | June 22, 2008

2 Comments

I really like him but I think he is really cheap! A guy I’ve been dating for several months asked me to go away with him for the weekend. I was very excited because I like him a lot and thought this was a big step in our relationship going forward. But when he asked me to pay my own way on everything we did I couldn’t help but feel cheap and used in some way. I didn’t know how to tell him. I thought his feelings for me were more. He does other things that I really like. He spends time with me and my son (but never pays for my son). He fixes things around my flat. And buys me small gifts now and then. But he is so cheap and I don’t like that he’s cheap with me. I asked several friends who instead of giving me an answer compared him to their husbands saying “my husband would never have asked me to pay.” That didn’t make me feel any better. What do I do? I have strong feelings for him and I think he is oblivious to the damage done. Do I tell him that his “cheapness” is coming between us. How do I tell him that in certain situations a gentleman pays.

Who pays what and money issues are unique to each person and relationship. They are usually something that becomes established at the beginning of a relationship. You’ve only been going out with him for several months. Why do you think it’s his responsibility to pay for a weekend? Do you work? Do you have any money? In the past and that means at least thirty years or more men felt an obligation to pay for everything. In this day and age equality is more the norm. Things are expensive and money doesn’t grow on trees. Sure it would be nice if he paid, but he might say it would be just as nice if you paid. In the meantime I’d concentrate on the relationship you have together without focusing on the expectations on who is paying. Someone’s feelings for someone else shouldn’t be measured in dollars and cents.

This question was answered by Joe, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

2 Comments So Far

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  • dolphinGirl says:
    June 30, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    I think your wrong; you read this superficially. I am not all about the money…he is…that’s my point. I have been very generous (with my money) in our relationship. “Everyone” I’ve asked said he should have known better…he should have paid and should not have asked me to pay…how can everyone else be wrong…I think you are off base here.

  • Mike says:
    July 9, 2008 at 9:09 am

    i agree in CERTAIN situations a gentleman pays. If he askes you to dinner, yes he should pay. If he asks you to a movie, he should probably pay too. But a weekend away is not something that most people I know could pay for two.

    “I thought his feelings for me where more”? So you are saying a man with more money cares about you more than a man with a tight budget because he can buy you more things? You view of relationships is jaded.

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