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Ask FreeloveMD Archive » He Is An Alcoholic

He Is An Alcoholic

Ask FreeloveMD | August 1, 2008

3 Comments

I live with a man who is 9 years my senior at 39, he has a great job and is very responsible, clean, and financially secure…the problem is he is an alcoholic. During the week we have a very routine life. I play housewife and do his list of tasks, he works and comes home to spend his nights in front of the television in a separate room from me. He claims to have trouble sleeping and we have not slept in the same bed for 5 months. He expects me to wait on him and focus all of my attention on him. On the weekend he drinks literally from Friday until early Sunday morning. He gets very belligerent, calls me horrible names and tells me I’m a failure, although i have taken care of his every need the previous week. He controls the amount of time i spend with friends and family and he also parents my daughter behind my back. Allowing her to do things I already said no to, telling her she doesn’t have to listen to me. He tells me I should be grateful to him for taking me and my child in, supporting us and that it is my job to be his “mom”. I cant help but feel like I’m not getting any respect and that he is wrong. As far as the alcohol, I feel like I’m dealing with two completely different personalities in one person. Is it time to leave or should I be grateful to be financially secure and grin and bear it?

He obviously doesn’t love you, and is just using you for services. He also sounds self-destructive and abusive. What do you value more, living in supposed security or living in dignity? Put all the reasons for each on paper and make a decision.

This question was answered by Joe, a love expert and FreeloveMD contributor.

3 Comments So Far

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  • Mike says:
    August 6, 2008 at 8:47 am

    You say you feel like you are dealing with two different people, yet in your description it sounds like he never respects you. He is the same all the time, and he doesnt sound like someone who cares about you.

  • Susie says:
    August 6, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Think of the lesson you are teaching your child. This is not how healthy relationships work. You should talk to someone about your selfesteem so you can build confidence and move on.

  • lindie says:
    September 23, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    i know exactly how you feel your story mirrors my past relationship. you need to get your confidence back and know your worth more than that this man obviously has “issues” and you are not his mother you are his partner. This behavior you are permmiting will inevitaby send the wrong message to your daughter and dont be surprised if she ends up with a man just like him. you have to be a role model for her show her women should be respected no matter what. Do the good times out weigh the bad?? I stayed with my ex until he physically, emotionally and mentially broke me down. i left finally and it was the hardest, but best thing i ever did. It will not be easy at first but you will soon feel better and never ever let a man treat you that way again believe me girl its for the best. you will find the man that will treat you like the “queen” you are! good luck

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