The first thing you must understand in a relationship is, it’s not all about you. If you understand this then you’ll realize that everyone has different levels of everything, including intensity and commitment in a relationship. This guy may love you as much as he can love anyone, but it’s not enough as far as you’re concerned. The fact that he does one thing like saying he hates you then invites you to be with him is a sort of a relief valve for him. You’re too intense for him. He can’t match your intensity so he’s trying to be with you, but feel more comfortable and in control of the situation. But these expectations and reactions can be deal breakers in a relationship. Unless you make concessions to his personality and perhaps he tries to be more sensitive to you, your relationship is headed for failure. Try spending a good deal of time talking and airing your feelings to each other, and don’t try to change one another. Focus on some things other than your relationship. Involve yourself with girlfriends, hobbies etc and hopefully your relationship might normalize.