That is such a difficult scenario. First of all, it really is unfair for him to want you to hang with his friends ALL the time. My ex didn’t really like the friends I had, so I stopped talking to all of them— and now here I am, 3 years later, single, no family, and no friends that I feel like I can break down and tell everything to.

I think you should be cautious. Try to make it work, but don’t put your entire life into it. The worst feeling is blaming yourself, so I definitely think that you should try (believe me…do you know how many times I wish that I would have said “I love you” to my ex right now? I can think of hundreds. Hundreds of little regrets) but again, tread lightly. See how he reacts before you jump on in.

Rewind to January of this year, we were going through a rough patch..a pretty rough patch. I was sick, and dealing with mild depression, and really I was too distant. I didn’t tell him that I love him enough, I didn’t hold his hand or kiss him. But I loved him through it all- he really is the anchor I held on to to make it through (seeing as I live in a city 2,000 miles away from my entire family, he is all that I have).

By July things were perfect. I mean, absolutely perfect. We played, we held each other, and I even asked him if he would be willing to move to the city where I want to attend grad school in 2 years. I was…no, we were…so happy again. Then two weeks later, my heart is smashed into the tiniest of pieces.

Now he yells at me if I cry, because “I don’t know what I am putting him through”. Right, because I’m having the time of my life here? It’s one thing to lose your lover, but it is another to also lose your best friend in the process. I have no family to go home to, I called me step-mom crying and all she could say was that she wishes they had the money to buy me a plane ticket to come home for a while. I don’t have anyone to hold on to when the nights seem like they just won’t end. I haven’t slept in two weeks, and I feel so sick.

I think that maybe someday it will be better. Of course I’m doing everything in my power to make him want to give it a second chance– he was my first EVERYTHING. My only everything. There is a part of me that he will always have, a part that NO ONE else can come close to touching. But I need to at least start moving on. Sure, I’m not sure anyone else will ever love a girl who has a My Little Pony collection, and refuses to drink milk that is within 3 days of the sell/best by date. And of course I only want him, I don’t even want to date anyone else. But I still need to grow, to be stronger and to start healing. I have more of a chance to steal his heart again if I am strong, confident and happy..and even if I never get him back I will at least be ready to meet someone else. Maybe someone who thinks my My Little Ponies are adorable, and who also refuses to drink the milk within 3 days of the sell/best by date. And maybe, just maybe that person won’t break my heart.

I have been going out with a guy for a bit more than a year. He seemed to be the perfect guy- always very nice to me and my friends. Everyone loved him- his friends, my family. We had a long distance relationship for most of the time but it wasn;t causing us any problems as he visited often and we were chatting all the time. When he moved back he found a job and things became a little difficult. I wanted us to spend more time together and he wanted to spend time with his friends ( of course he wanted me and invited me to join him each time). We had our little arguments about it but never thought he would break up with me. One day he said that the passion was gone and that he wasn’t in love with me but he wasn;t sure. The next day he said that we should break up because he doesn’t feel the same. After some time I wanted more reasons so insisted that he told me what he didn’t like in the relationship- he said that I wanted us to meet more often and he wanted us to chill at his friends house more and that I didn’t like that. I said that he should have told me so we could work it out but he said that he didn’t want me to change for his sake. I feel like it was my fault now, that I should have given him more space but now his feelings changed so what should i do? Should I fight for him? Or let it go? I truly love him he treated me well during the whole relationship

The second step after the initial shock of an abrupt rupture like this is a state of shock. Then its followed by denial, and anger. You think it is not true, that he will come back, you dont accept reality…This is really hard, I was there just 3 months ago. But after 2 attempts for just discussing, trying to understand things with my ex, I realised, there was nothing to clarify, he was feeling guilty and being aggressive and putting all the blame on me and making me feel like a was a nut case…So I never contacted him or saw him again (I know its easy for me, coze we dont have kids togheter). I truely think that surronding yourself with friends and family right now and just think about you and your kids and forget about him and what he thinks and did is the only way out for now. Just think about you, and how you feel, express it to your closed ones, let it out, but for a while avoid any contact with him, as for now it will only make you feel worst, even if you are obsessed about him and think that talking to him will make you feel better…Time is on your side, hang in there…You will love again, you still have love now, and it wont stop there…Courage!