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• Carey says:

  March 17, 2007 at 7:30 am

  Hi sweety, I feel your pain. My boyfriend did the exact same thing to me the other day, except he said I love you more as a sister and I also thought things were better than ever. I’m so confused. I want to tell you don’t jump into another relationship, give it some time and try to talk to him. I hate to play games but I think you should try to act like fine then you don’t love me and Im going to move on. Guys are weird, so weird. He could be getting scared because you guys are getting too comfortable and he is scared of marriage and stuff. I think they are scared if you ask me and they don’t know the meaning of love.
  Be strong and keep your head up, confidence is sexy.
  -Carey

• shellz says:

  March 22, 2007 at 12:52 am

  Ah you poor things! This is awful. I had the exact same thing happen to me 2 years ago around this date and found out my ex had cheated on me – he didnt tell me this until a while later, i forgave him instantly cause i was happy that he still loved me…. so i thought, he really didnt love me. If they can say this then sadly i dont think that they really are “in love” with you anymore. But the great news is and although it doesnt seem like it will ever happen – only a few months later i met another guy and it was the best relationship i have ever been in… well until now. Nearly 2 years later and i dont think he loves me anymore. He says he does but where at the start he was all about marraige and sharing – well now he’s cant tell me what he sees for us in the future and everything is “I”. So am sad again but its not over yet. Have asked him to think about what he wants for three days and then we will talk again. Although i can tell you i feel very lonely and it brings back memories… Life… theres so much more to my story that i would just love to tell but its very hard to talk to who knows…Good luck, be strong, so many of us go through it and its not fair but we cant change it we just have to live it and make the most of it. xx

• melissa says:

  March 24, 2007 at 8:30 am

  I understand this topic because it has happened to me way too much! Men don’t really sit down and think about (well not all men) where they want to be in a relationship. Most of the men I know only think of now. It seem to me that in the beginning of things they want to listen to you, however weeks, months go by. Then they stop having an open mind with you. If you can understand that there is no need to be insecure with your relationship. It is so hard for me to let a guy get close to me. Simply because I have been hurt the same way as you have. So now when I get into a relationship I study the guy I want to be with. I watch for little lies, not necessarily with me, but how he is with other people. I feel if he can lie to other people what makes me so different.What I am trying to say is make sure you do your homework on the man you want to be with before you jump in into something that just might hurt you in the long run.

• Alyssa says:

  April 8, 2007 at 4:14 pm

  Oh my god i feel for you. My boyfriend’s ex told me that he said that he likes her. I asked my boyfriend and he said Im sorry. I dont know what to belive anymore. When I always tell him something he is like thats good for you or whatever. I am really upset and I can feel your pain. I want to break up with my boyfriend sometimes but i just dont know what to do…
  Someone help me, please

• sonia says:

  April 9, 2007 at 10:34 am

  Nine times out of ten there is another female in the equation, he was probably seeing her behind your back and that was his way out. I don’t know why men like to play mind games, they fail to realize we have feelings, just do your best to move on, god will send you somebody for you.

• Olive says:

  April 16, 2007 at 4:05 pm

  I know exactly how you feel! This has also happened to me recently and it broke my heart. I am just so lost and confused at the moment; I feel that some men are just so unfair on women and do not respect them. I am still a teenager so I have never been in a serious relationship before. However, for a very long time I have really wanted a boyfriend, somebody that I could share things with, trust and feel close too. I have had a couple of ‘flings’, however none of these engaged in sexual actions. I always felt let down after these incidents because I thought that after a lot of talking and dates that perhaps this would be my chance to have a boyfriend. It was painful to be rejected, however, these guys didn’t really know me or see me much so I didn’t let it get me down too much. Although, I did feel like an object that guys just wanted. Anyway, in november there was this lovely guy that admired me and we talked and got to know each other well. He then sent me a love letter telling me how much he liked me and wanted to go out with me. I said that I wasn’t sure as I didn’t want to be hurt as along with other things in my life that were not going too well, I felt that I wouldn’t be able to take it. Anyway, he was so lovely about it and we went out a few times together, making me realise I wanted to be with him. It was amazing having someone like that, who you could trust and look forward to seeing everyday – I loved having a boyfriend! We went out for almost three months and during this time, he convinced me that he loved me (which he still claims that he did) and as being a woman have my own sexual desires, engaged in some acts, however refused some and did not feel that I was ready for sex. I did feel terrible for hiding my underwear (that worryingly had some blood on at one point) from my family but I felt that our relationship was great and didn’t feel regrets. It was great as he supported me all the way and we had such a lovely time together. I had been suffering from depression before I met him for a few years but he made me feel so happy. I trusted him and told him things which I have never told anyone, not even my best friend or my older sister, whom I am extremely close to.

• nikki says:

  May 23, 2007 at 9:51 am

  it’s never happened to me, but this has happened to so many of my friends and it’s heartbreaking to watch. thinking things are perfect one minute and then the next your’re being told that the love of your life doesn’t love you anymore. how do you cope? it’s never happened to me because i’m one of those females that gets out before she gets her heart broken so i’ve never fully learne how to trust and love a man yet. i think i’m just too scared to have what happened to everyone else happen to me……

• Emily says:

  May 27, 2007 at 11:41 am

  I thought my boyfriend and I had were in a love-of-the-century type relationship. Apparently I was wrong. He told me he used to feel like he was in love with me and now he just “cares” a lot about me. I would rather he act like a jerk than feel sorry about hurting me. But he feels sorry. Its more of an insult than a comfort. I don’t want him to feel sorry, I just want him to be in love with me like he used to.

  I used to want so badly to fall in love. To all of you ladies who haven’t yet experienced it, just be wary. The hottest love has the coolest end.

• Lucy says:

  July 15, 2007 at 10:51 pm

  I met a man in February who I now believe was on the rebound from a previous relationship because he set the pace…I now realize that I shouldn’t have let him do that….told me that he loved me on April 24 to break up with me on June 15th!! I knew things were strained since right before he told me that he loved me but thought it was this other woman who was calling him. Now I wonder if he was seeing her behind my back and now wants to spend time with her. Men are strange.

• marcia says:

  August 9, 2007 at 7:38 pm

  I understand you all. My boyfriend broke up with me last week after 9 years together. We’ve broken up several times before and it always seems to happen when he starts something new in his life like school or a new job. He said he is occupied with a lot of things right now and he can’t make me happy. He said, if we were meant to be married or at least live together, it would have happened already. I’m always the one who tries to make the relationship work after a breakup, but not this time. I won’t spend another minute on something that is so disposable to him. I think I’ve given him enough of me, 9 years worth, and its about time that I give some nurturing,attention and respect back to myself. I don’t wish him any harm, but I find solace in knowing that he will never find another woman who was as good to him and loved him as much as I did.

• S says:

  August 19, 2007 at 9:59 pm

  Well, I can relate from the opposite end of the spectrum, I have a girl who I love and care about very much, she looked at me and said to me, I think the fire in our relationship has gone out!! That came to me as a shocker because I hadn’t gone in reverse in the relationship and not show her that I love her nor did I do anything to hurt her. She wouldn’t say that she loved me or anything for quite a while, she said that we should be just friends for a while and build on that, that lasted about a week, she said well i think we’re better friends than as boyfriend/girlfriend, and that we may just want to stay that way, couple weeks later she wanted to talk and get back to gether, saying that it was a mistake that she’d made in breaking off such a great relationship, well now we’re back together, and yeah we’re back to the same thing, so i’ll say this, people fall in and out of love all the time and some more constantly than others, but take it for what it is otherwise you’ll drive yourself crazy!!

• rebecca says:

  December 13, 2007 at 6:34 pm

  Life is strange.. after 3 years with my boyfriend (few break ups and many rows in between) he came to the conclusion that he didnt love me anymore. We`ve been seeing each other still for over a year and I have come to realise that I love him more than ever and have really thought about the mistakes I made in the past, but he says that the love has just gone, and without that he doesnt want a serios relationship anymore.

  I suppose we are still seeing each other until he finds someone else and I would love to find the strenght to stop seeing him and move on but I keep thinking that he will realise that he does actually love me…. The problem is that Im probably going to really suffer when it ends, just feels like life wont be the same without him..

  anyone got any words of wisdom!!

• Cassandra says:

  March 13, 2008 at 10:45 pm

  My boyfriend of 4 years and I recently moved into an apartment together. I know things have kind of fizzled a bit, but I definitely believed there was still love there. He recently let me know that he thinks it’s better if I move out and give him space so he can “miss me”. Apparently, he’s been hating and resenting me for the past 4 months! I packed up all my things and ran back home to mommy, not a happy moment. I just don’t understand how we were living apart for over 3 years and have only just moved in together and he already needs space from me. I was so upset that I told him it’s over. Sad thing is that I think it made him happy more than it hurt him. We haven’t spoken for about a week now. I love him dearly but he’s hurt me so much these past couple of weeks. I don’t think he loves me anymore anyway. How do I move on after 4 years with someone I thought I would marry? How is he finding it so easy to? Should we try to work it out? How?

• TK says:

  April 9, 2008 at 9:31 am

  cassandra..same thing happened to me. Been with my boyfriend for 8years and he told me he doesnt love me anymore, that I love him more than he loves. And that he likes me very much. How he has met someone else who he has a lot in common with. I ask myself the same questions you are asking. They are all rhetorical.Men are weird..he probably is seeing someone else. You have to look after yourself. Dont rush into anything. Take it as a lesson learnt. My ex broke my heart on xmas day he told me over the fone imagine after 8years. Time is a healer..you will get over it, but there is pain.What I know is remember..what goes around comes around..give it time you will see

• Gati says:

  July 11, 2008 at 8:49 pm

  My boyfriend of nine months out of the blue broke up with me and after a week of me asking for an explanation he emailed me to tell me that he dont love me , that he tried and tried but he couldnt fall in love with me. that sometimes he felt it but then used to go away. Weare talking asbout a men that Told me every night that he loves me and I was his angel and planing to marry me. Im so heart broken I dont know what to think. he also said that he is going to start seeing other people. He also said “I came to you with a broken heart you mend it, took care of it and I broke yours in return Im so sorry.

• Liza says:

  July 30, 2008 at 6:47 am

  I’m glad I’ve found this site with people who are in the same position as me. I was with my boyfriend for 4 years and for the past 2 sure, we’ve always had a fiery relationship. Lots of arguments. In the last year, they got worse and in the last 6 months, at the end of every argument he would tell me he doesn’t love me anymore and he wants to end it, only to go back on his word the next day. About 6 weeks ago we had a huge argument, the biggest we’ve ever had and I told him I didn’t want him back after it. He begged and pleaded with me to give him another chance, and promised he’d change. I took him back and the last month or so has been perfect, just like the old days. I’ve felt so loved and cared about and I thought he was happy. Then a week ago he told me he doesn’t love me anymore, and hasn’t for a while and it’s over .This time though, he hasn’t gone back on his word. I’m devastated. Why couldn’t he have done this 6 weeks ago, why did he fight for me? Why didn’t he just let me go then? I just feel like he’s been so cruel. I can’t get over it, I’m in shock. He says he wants to be friends one day, then the next he tells me not to talk to him anymore. I’ve had to cut all ties with him for now because he hurts me everytime we talk. I’m in turmoil, I just don’t know what to do. Please someone help.

• jessi says:

  August 9, 2008 at 3:39 am

  I know how you feel..me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 years and it seems so perfect..but the last couple of weeks have been confusing..he doesn’t call or anything and when we see each other in school he just walks by and acts like he doesn’t even care.he acts like im a complete stranger.i don’t know if i should break up with him.im gonna talk to him about tomorrow.
  i hope things go well..

• Tracey says:

  August 14, 2008 at 4:37 pm

  My boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me just before my birthday stating those infamous 5 words;

  “I don’t love you anymore”

  He was so blunt and said that he had been thinking about dumping me for the past 6 months!! Again like others, I did not see anything wrong in our relationship and it came as a complete shock (He was planning our future up until the day he told me). I moved out a few day’s later back to my mum’s and have not heard from him since.

  It has been just over 2 weeks now and I cannot bring myself to accept that he could just fall out of love with me like that and stupidly I wait for him to come and get me back. I cannot see how you can get over something like this when you are not told what happened (apart from it’s me not you – although I do not believe there was any other girl involved)and have been planning a future together. I feel that my world has just ended and there is no coming back. I hate myself for giving someone else the power to make me feel this way and feel that there is something wrong with me and that I am not worth fighting for.

  I hope there are happy endings out there for other’s as there does not seem to be one in my case

• Svetlana says:

  August 29, 2008 at 1:17 pm

  I had a boyfriend of 2 years, and then he told me “I don’t love you anymore. U have to accept it”. I cried for 2 weeks, and then I got over him. After a while he started seeking to meet me. He told me he missed me and staff like that. Well, I took him back,just in case it would work because I still had feelings for him. And after we broke up again. But I did not cry then. I just was angry with myself that I believed a guy who played with my feelings.
  girls, don’t let anyone play with ur life because we’got just one heart, and one life, there is no replacement.

• Ashley says:

  September 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm

  I think that you should give him some time. Try telling him things such as “you can tell me anything” or “I will always be here for you no matter what” Maybe if you tell him those things then he will feel asthough he can talk to you for comfort and maybe he won’t be angry towards you. If those don’t help levve him alone for awhile and if he still is treating you the way he is then just try to move on with your life.

• Alison says:

  September 2, 2008 at 7:37 pm

  Two days ago, my boyfriend of two years told me that he “didnt love me anymore” just like so many of you have said. It is comforting to know that there are others going through what i am. I am in a lot of pain and i think of calling him, texting him or emailing him, requesting that he talk to me. All i want is for us to get back together. We had a pretty good relationship, though i have been told that he didn’t treat me like i should have been treated. He said that he was “not mature enough” for a relationship like ours. I am so sad and confused i don’t know what to do. I miss him so much, all i can think about is our good times and how much fun we did have together, and that i will never find anyone that i love more. I know there are other fish in the sea, but why doesnt it feel like it? It seems like he has just moved on and doesnt even give me a second thought.

• Torrie says:

  September 10, 2008 at 8:31 am

  I agree, that it is good to know that there are others who are in the same boat. My boyfriend of four plus years has just told me that he’s been feeling different over the past few months and now moved his stuff out saying he doesn’t love me anymore and he’s very depressed. I think i’m in total denial as up until the day he disapeared (for four days before telling me the above) he called my twice at home to arrange things for us over the weekend and then all of a sudden didn’t return home from work and that was it so in the space of one day, the love has ‘changed’ and we’re over

  He does have a history of being depressed and very unhappy with his life and what he’s done with it. I’ve constantly supported him through this but because of the depression we have split up many times or he has just gone on a ‘bender’ and come back sorry and even more depressed with himself.

  I know I should just forget about him and move on because our life together was extremly stressful but all I can think of are the good times and I miss him so much. Also I can’t bear the thought of him going on with is life without me but somebody said that a true test of my love for him would be to let him go. I don’t have much choice in that though do I.

• N says:

  October 17, 2008 at 7:09 pm

  Hi
  I need your advice, I thought I was smart enough to handle my problems but I guess I was wrong. I never thought this situation will arise and it is hard for me to believe that it is happening for real.
  Here is the deal: Couple of days back my boyfriend of last six years said that he does not love me anymore, he said he is confused and for the last couple of months he has been thinking about it that he has lost the fondness for me. I am a attractive and educated girl and he was the one who was more serious about our relationship and wanted to get married to me asap but I have been the one who has been saying that we will get married but not too soon. I want to get married to him but recently he told me that he has lost the love that he had for me and is not emotionally or physically attracted to me anymore. He used to be head over heels for me all the time and I always loved and respected him. I asked him if there is another girl in his life and he said “not at all”, so I don’t know what has happened and how to mae things better.
  After six years he has suddenly realized that our thoughts don’t match and he doesn’t love me anymore. I have been depressed since the last few days, lost weight, dont eat, dont want to do anything, also had suicidal thoughts one day but I wont do anything I’m sure. I love God and my family enough to stop me from doing anything like this.
  All my life guys have proposed me and I always rejected them but know for the first time in my life I have realized that what is rejection!
  Please guys help me, tell me what to do. I cannot imagine my life without him.

• Tracey says:

  October 21, 2008 at 1:25 pm

  N unfortunatly if it is meant to be then it will.

  Just try and fight as much as you can for what you have but know when it is a losing battle like I did.

  I am now 3 months on and feeling more happier in myself and cannot see myself ever getting back with my ex.

  It is going to be very hard but we have to go through thing’s like this in our lives. There are more important thing’s to worry about (i.e one of my parents is seriously ill and that is more important than worrying about something I cannot control or change).

  I hope everything works out for you and am sure that you will be happier soon.

  Take Care

• Angela says:

  October 21, 2008 at 3:01 pm

  Aww… Don’t worry, I have just gone through this same exact thing about two days ago. Apparently, my boyfriend kept telling me false words about how much he loved me this year and now he tells me that all this time, he doesn’t know if he really loves me now. It’s such a horrible feeling, where you keep thinking that you both are the happiest couples in love in the whole world. Yet in the end, it turns out that only you were the one that loved him.

  I haven’t moved on yet, I’m trying my best now. It hurts to listen to songs that we use to sing together. Not to mention he was my first love, the first person I’ve ever went out with, and the person who took my first kiss. What was quite silly was that he tried getting back together with me but it was only because he wanted to “remember the days when we were in love” and the days when we were back together, he really didn’t love me at all.

  Love hurts. I’m trying my best to “find fishes in the sea.” It’s hard. I can’t help but want to be loved again, I’m sure you guys too. However, I’m a teenager, I still have school. So yes, I must stand strong, and that is my only motivation.

  Try hanging out with your friends more, or tell how you feel to someone who experienced the same thing to cure this heart-break. It really helps. I don’t know about you guys, but I gave all my ex’s stuffs back to him. I recommend you do the same, since it hurts to see them again…

  Loves.

• nicole says:

  October 23, 2008 at 9:38 am

  my boyfriend of 2 years and i just broke up. He never told me he loved me. he said he never felt those love feelings for me like i did. He said there was no point in keeping a relationship that wasnt going to the next level. he says he misses me and cares for me , but thats not what i want to hear. i used to think if he doesnt love me by now then he never will. i feel lost… i wonder why now? dont you know how you feel after months in a relationship not years? i know moving on is probably the best thing.. but why cant i? why do we feel like we can change our ex’s minds by hanging on and begging… it tiring..ive cried so much i cant cry anymore.. I try living by my moms motto…..you have your own life so stop begging someone to be a part of theirs… anyone know what to do?

• Jennifer says:

  October 28, 2008 at 10:25 pm

  Well, I feel for all of you ladies and I understand the horrible pain you are feeling. I had a year of complete togetherness and love with a man. He would push me to come over all the time, and to please him, I did. We never fought, mostly because I tried so hard to make him happy, he called me snow white because I was so kind. Well, a little over a month ago we had a little fight, hardly anything. He turned off his phone for several days, then he called me and said that we shouldn’t see each other any more. I was just devastated. He said that I smothered him. Well, I wrote so many stupid emotional emails which he didn’t respond to. He did call me once and said that he hadn’t had romantic feelings for me for a really long time. I’ve been crying,not eating, eating too much, spending money I don’t have, calling him and emailing him and he just pretends I don’t exist. And everything reminds me of him and I keep wondering what I did to make him stop loving me….

• Barbara says:

  November 7, 2008 at 12:46 am

  Hi,
  I’ve just had the same thing happen to me. My boyfriend went to Turkey a month ago and was writing me emails about how much he loved me and missed me, he just wanted to come back home to me. When he got back he started a new job and over the last month he’s been getting so distant. We were also living together before he had started this job and we decided that it would be better for our relationship if he moved out. We never had a nice honeymoon period of just dating so by him moving back home and me staying in the flat we thought things would get even better. Between him starting this new job and not living with me anymore he’s become so distant. Last night it all came out, and he told me that he doesn’t think he loves me anymore and he wants his space and time. He started crying and I didn’t know what to say. I’m finding it so hard to accept all of this. I don’t know what to do or say anymore. But I feel alone, I don’t live with anybody and have no family around. I keep on calling him and texting him, I asked him to try and care again because the person that he’s become is just not him. We had a fight last weekend which was quite bad, and after that his attitude toward me has completely changed. It’s so hard to accept these changes because he was the one person that would always be there for me and would always make everything better, I trusted him with my life and now he’s turned around completely.

• jen says:

  November 8, 2008 at 5:21 am

  hi ladies..

  Well, like all of you.. I have same problem.. i had a relationship a complicated relationship others might called it., before he was so in love with me and he always call and txted me every now and then but now he’s not doing this things anymore. he didn’t say that he doesn’t love me but i really felt it that he doesn’t love me anymore.. And i saw some evidence that he’s seeing other girl. i confronted him but he’s telling me that girl is only his friend. but in that picture he kissd that girl.. so how can it be friends? and he posted it in one website. im asking myself if dat girl is just a friend y did he posted it? wat 4? im so sad right now.. because it’s my first relationship..wat will i do to 4get him? please help me i still love him. but i think i should move on.. because he lied to me.. he told me the he is still in love with me..but i can feel it anymore.. pls help me.. i dont know what to do wid him..

• shelly says:

  November 17, 2008 at 4:24 am

  Hello, like everyone on here I too have recently been told these words. I am, of course devastated. I’m sure everyone feels their relationship is the best in the beginning or that you are more ‘in love’ than other people. I really believed this, I was inwardly smug.
  We met on holiday, fell madly in love, he moved to my country and we were eventually married, that was 5 years ago. We were always kissing and cuddling mostly initiated by my husband but he brought that side out in me. We were the ultimate fairytale and everyone was amazed by our story. We would talk for hours and hours and never run out of things to say. We were planning for our future, saving up and both working 6 days a week to pay for an amazing holiday. Only problem was by the time we went on holiday we did not know each other.
  The holiday was great and up until the last day or so we were great but then we had the two worst weeks of my life. Arguing and fighting we had drifted apart, lost the respect and love. I did not realise this, I guess I buried my head in the sand, hoped it would get better – although I don’t know how I expected this now.
  I guess my point is how much regret I have for letting it get to this stage, working so much we neglected each other and now he says he doesn’t love me and wants to separate. I’m so scared, how can I have had such a big love and lost it and will I make the same mistakes again?
  I feel I have let him down, we were supposed to protect each other and instead I went on and on and drove him away. He is such a lovely person, for him to do this – shows me how much of a bitch I must have been.

• onesha harrison says:

  November 20, 2008 at 10:34 am

  me and my boyfriend were doing great.then it all changed when my sister moved in with me

• F says:

  November 28, 2008 at 10:50 am

  I’ve been reading all these comments crying my eyes out at work

  My boyfriend of 3 years just didn’t come home one night and sent me a text at about midnight saying he was staying round his parent’s house and he’d be back in the morning. I though it was a little odd but as he loved me so much I didn’t really give it a second thought. The next morning he came in and said he didn’t feel the same anymore and we were more like companions than bf and gf, and he’s too young for that kind of relationship (he’s 30!). He then said he needed space, packed a bag and left. I called him and sent him a dignified email saying that we could work on things and pointing out what a good couple we were and could be again. He told me he’d made a mistake and came home and everything was good (though a bit shaky) for a few weeks. Now suddenly he’s going out getting really drunk and ‘forgetting’ to call me a couple of nights a week, I don’t know where he is and sit there terrified all night that he’s never coming home again, or is out with another girl. I have tried talking to him about it and he says sorry it won’t happen again and that he doesn’t want to break up with me, but it’s now happened four times. This morning he was really dismissive of me and my hurt feelings, saying he had a hangover and was sorry. Now he hasn’t called or emailed all day. I know this doesn’t sound so bad but he used to be the sweetest, most loving man in the world and didn’t even go out that much as he was happy to just be with me. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore, and as he knows I am still shaky about our previous break-up he should be being extra-nice to me, not extra-thoughtless! He just doesn’t seem to care anymore. I feel like this is the end for us, and we are just petering out now. Yet sometimes he can still be so sweet and loving. I feel like he is being so cruel, but I just can’t seem to finish it myself, I love him so much and thought he was the man I was going to marry. The thought of me being with someone else makes me feel empty and the thought of him with someone else makes me feel sick.
  I never ever thought this would happen to us, we’ve had our problems but I thought he loved me so much and never dreamt he’d leave.

  I’m sorry there are so many of us going through this. Just goes to show what fickle, unreadable creatures men can be.

• Janetsara says:

  December 1, 2008 at 6:36 pm

  After 7 years of what I thought was a good, solid loving understanding relationship with a guy I thought was my life partner, a few weeks ago he suddenly told me he wanted out, he needed space as he felt like he had settled down too soon and needed to find himself.
  I was devastated I didn’t see it coming at all, as time went on more and more stuff came out, mostly due to my female mind ticking over and things just didn’t add up! After about 4 weeks it came out that he didn’t love me anymore, couldn’t do family life, but said none of it was my fault, he had thought I was the one but had made a mistake. It is horrible and the array of feelings is staggering, I am not even starting to turn the corner yet, at least I have my kids to focus on, and that is the only advice I can give, try and keep busy, focus on something either reading, study, beautifying yourself, having fun with your friends, any type of distraction you can, so long as you are not just sat thinking if only and feeling n sorry for yourself ect you will go mental. Everything happens for a reason, just cos u can’t see it yet doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Good luck to everyone and happier times ahead!

• Le says:

  December 5, 2008 at 6:54 am

  Hi gals.
  My boyfriend of nearly 3 yrs jus recently broke up with me out of the blue. We were talking about marriage only a month ago.
  Yesterday i chatted to a mutual friend of my exboyfriend and myself. In the last 7 yrs he’s experienced 2 major breakups. The advice he gave me was invaluable. He told me to ask myself what was it that i was getting out of that relationship? Which prompted me to see how my needs were not met through the relationship. I was overly accomodating through the relationship which did leave me stifled and unable to grow.I Two days ago i wallowed in self pity but yesterday i started on my road to recovery. I can only say that you most deserving girls will get to this stage with time. Surround yourself with safe people, that is people who care about you and put smiles on your face. Let yourself cry. This is normal.It feels like your heart is wrenching, your body will be sore and yes, ther wil be sleepless nights. Then you’l think of ways to make you happy and empower yourself to be al that you can! And when you’re ready you can finally know what you really want in a partner. With our experiences we can only gain wisdom. There’s nothing to lose, be appreciative and grateful for the other things gained. Keep positive for your sake in the end! All the best gals and guys!!

• Le says:

  December 5, 2008 at 6:57 am

  Hi gals.
  My boyfriend of nearly 3 yrs jus recently broke up with me out of the blue. We were talking about marriage only a month ago.
  Yesterday i chatted to a mutual friend of my exboyfriend and myself. In the last 7 yrs he’s experienced 2 major breakups. The advice he gave me was invaluable. He told me to ask myself what was it that i was getting out of that relationship? Which prompted me to see how my needs were not met through the relationship. I was overly accomodating through the relationship which did leave me stifled and unable to grow.I Two days ago i wallowed in self pity but yesterday i started on my road to recovery. I can only say that you most deserving girls will get to this stage with time. Surround yourself with safe people, that is people who care about you and put smiles on your face. Let yourself cry. This is normal.It feels like your heart is wrenching, your body will be sore and yes, ther wil be sleepless nights. Then you’l think of ways to make you happy and empower yourself to be al that you can! And when you’re ready you can finally know what you really want in a partner. With our experiences we can only gain wisdom. There’s nothing to lose, be appreciative and grateful for the other things gained. Keep positive for your sake in the end! All the best gals and guys

• F says:

  December 5, 2008 at 11:44 am

  Well, to continue my story we broke up. The day I wrote that post (see above November 28, 2008 at 10:50 am), I got home and just thought, I’m sick of wondering whether he will come home or not, and whether he still loves me or not, so I packed a bag ready to leave. He came in the door just as I was about to leave him a note and I told him I was going. He said he thought it was for the best. My whole world caved in.

  It’s now been a week and I’m starting to feel a tiny bit better, though I was absolutely inconsolable for the first 5 days, especially when I had to go back to the flat and pack up my stuff. I cuddled his clothes and cried. He’s put the pictures of us in a drawer. That made me feel a little better, obviously he is not coping that well either. I left him a letter saying that I know we love each other but the situation has become too bad for us to continue, and that I’m OK (a lie!). When I got back to my new home he’d emailed me during the day (not knowing that I’d moved out), saying he didn’t know what he wanted and was aching and hurting, but that he still thinks breaking up is the best thing to do. Then he wrote some confusing rubbish about how I will move on quickly while he regrets everything he has lost. Well I hope he does. Throwing us away like yesterday’s rubbish. I have not replied and will not contact him for at least a month, then I will be in a stronger position to talk to him. I will be confident, chatty and breezy, and he will think I have moved on, and hopefully I will have. If he still doesn’t see what he has lost then he is an even bigger idiot than I ever gave him credit for and I have dodged a bullet on that one. All this is bravado. I pray to God that he will miss me and want me back. But for now, I am feeling a little more sane, eating and sleeping a bit better and not in tears 24/7, as I was for the first few days. I think as I have seen it coming for so long since our first break, which I never really got over, it has been quicker for me to start picking up my life again. Now I miss him so much. My brain cannot make it’s bloody mind up!

  Just remember everyone, we survived without them before and we’ll survive again. There will be a day when they look back and wish they had not let us go, I can guarantee that. the grass is always greener on the other side until you hop over the fence and realise what a good thing you had. This is what will happen to these silly boys. Until then, we must move on, and one day the pain will vanish entirely. Hugs to all.

• F says:

  December 5, 2008 at 11:51 am

  And to Shelly (November 17, 2008 at 4:24 am), please do not blame yourself for your husband’s actions. A marriage means there will be rough times and times where you feel you cannot go on, but you made a vow and must stick by it. He is the one breaking this vow, not you. You have done nothing wrong.

  I think that men underestimate what ‘rough times’ mean though. They think it means a few rows or being in the doghouse. Sometimes you can feel like you no longer love your partner, or totally trapped, or attracted to someone esle. These are REAL rough times, and these are the times that men just turn tail and flee. Pathetic. I hope you are feeling better and have had a change in fortunes with your husband. Hugs.

• Bri says:

  December 16, 2008 at 10:48 pm

  I feel so sorry for all of you, but it is comforting to know that other people experience this heartache. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. They were really tough years with lots of fights and arguements, but we seemed to love each other deeply and were still very passionate together. We always went back and forth about whether or not we should break up, but we always ended up back together. This last time, my boyfriend kept with our arrangement and remained broken up. He said that he really thought about it and realized that he didn’t love me the same way. He loves me like a sister now. I am just devastated! I’m learning a lot being on my own, but I really feel like I love him. It’s amazing how when you are rejected that you forget all the bad things about a person. Deep down I know that I could get better, but I fear I won’t. He has so many wonderful, sweet qualities, and I always believed he truly loved me and always would. I guess I was wrong! Any advice to help me get through this lonely time living on my own? I don’t really have any friends in the area and have been trying to look for ways to meet people. I also don’t know how to meet other guys. Any advice would be great!! Thanks!!

• Karen says:

  January 4, 2009 at 3:21 am

  Hi all,

  I especially relate to “F” as at sounds like much of what you went through/are still going though is very similar to what I am going through right now, except I never lived with my ex-bf.

  In my case he never actually said “I don’t love you anymore” but its pretty obvious that that is the case. We dated on and off for four years. And up until three weeks ago I felt like this was the man I was going to marry. I was making life decisions around him. However, now I feel that lot of the things from the past four years just felt off. At the time I tried to chalk them up to him being immature, but now I find myself thinking back to all those things a seeing major issues- how could I just have brushed them off??!?! I always felt like he was not putting in enough effort into our realtionship, and felt a lot of the time like “there was a sensitivity chip that was missing” (This is what Jennifer Aniston said about Brad Pitt… lame that I know that but it stuck with me because it totally seemed like my ex-bf). The whole time I thought he was just immature about relationship stuff and that he thought a serious relationship was just supposed to be easy- no work required! Well- now I am not sure about the immature thing- he just doesn’t love me anymore.

  We broke up about three weeks ago. It has been really hard since then. I sent him a text a few days after we broke up as it was his birthday. All it said was- “Happy Birthday”. I thought I would at least get a “thanks” back or something- but nothing, nada, not a peep (and I haven’t heard a peep from him at all). I am trying to move on but I am still in love with him and think about him all the time and on top of that am starting to feel angry at myself for being in love with someone who obviously doesn’t love me back. I had to run to the bathroom at work to cry and didn’t eat for two days afterwards. I even blacked out a little bit during my normal workout– and realized it was for lack of food. What the hell!?!?!? I am an adult woman with a career, her own home and a life. It feels crazy that I would be so extreme about this.

  I am also angry at him for being a huge pu$$y. He never actually said “I want to break up” but left me to say it for him, thus absolving him of any guilt. SO how can I still be crying over him and wanting nothing more in the world than for him to call me and say he was wrong, he loves me, and wants to be together?!?!?

  I thought I would at least get a drunk text/call from him on new years eve b/c that’s his m.o.- but nothing. I am, however, really proud of the fact that I did not drunk text or call him on new years, or any other time aside from the ill-fated “Happy Birthday” text.

  I’m trying to move on but its the last thing that I want to do. I just looked at all the pictures from the past few months- many of which were from our vacation together in October. I just do not understand how a relationship can go from taking a huge vacation together to absolutely no communication what so ever. And- if anyone is thinking that he must have found someone else- wrong! It never even crossed my mind that there was another girl- I never even asked about that during the break-up convo. He just volunteered that info- he said he would never do that. He was sincere. I believe that.

  I am glad I found this website- it helps to get it out. But it is shocking and saddening to see that there are so many other girls/woman out there that are going through the exact same thing. We have to be strong— I have a date on Wednesday with someone I met on new years eve- nice (good for the ego), but I can’t really get too excited about it b/c I am so deeply sad and overcome with emotion for my ex.

• danielle says:

  January 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm

  To start off I am a teenager.
  I’m 17 but me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years on and off. But we’ve known each other since I was 14. But I thought we were in love he would tell me every night and any time he could that he loved me. We were everything to each other, he was my life and I was his. We broke up briefly about 2 months ago because he was getting a little too clingy. The day after I broke up with him, his mom died. I was there for him I went to the hospital. It was like we were back together. After that his stupid friend wanted him to go hang with him and when he went to hang there were girls there. As soon as I heard that I lost it, I cried myself to sleep that night. The day after we got back together and my life was good again I was so happy. We dated 2 weeks and out of no where he broke up with me saying that he doesn’t love me anymore. Earlier that day we hung out and had some fun but it came out of no where. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for like 3 days. We planned our lives together we had plans for our future like getting married and starting a family. He was my boyfriend and my best friend, I just don’t know what to do with myself. :’-(

• Liana says:

  January 18, 2009 at 8:22 am

  I am going through exactly the same thing- only thing is he just stopped texting, calling, emailing. When I asked him why, he told me he was going through personal issues then cut the phone and wouldnt pick it up again. When I emailed how much he’d hurt me, he replied that he needed time to himself. Couldn’t he at least have told me this respectfully, knowing that we were/are in a relationship and my feelings are involved too? i mean is disappearing and a rude email good enough, coming from a grown 28 year-old man? I am preparing for the big break-up, but will not ask him outright because I want to see just how much of a coward he is and what stupid excuses he will give, if at all.
  There are soo many fish in the sea but for some reason it seems they are all out to get us, so I’d rather not love at all than love and lose because that hurts so bad and u begin to ask yourself questions that could make u suicidal- not a good thing.
  Oh and did i mention this mo’ fo has been begging me to have his baby for ages now I might be pregnant? I swear if I see him am gon beat him up for doing this to me. Its not fair, I can only hope that someone will hurt him just as badly as he has hurt me

• Alexis says:

  January 22, 2009 at 2:32 am

  I am 20 years old..For my age i know to much and i stress about to many things..All through my life i alway had people who asked me to marry them or date them but i never would because i did not feel that attraction.. Even though i come across alot of nice guys i just never really liked them..I never intended to date anyone but somehow i meet a guy at my work place.. we ended dating each other for a year in a half then..Honestly when i started to date him in the beginning i felt like he was not the one because i had to travel a few times for a few weeks because i am in the military..every time i am gone i know that my feelings start to disappear slowly.. so when i get back for the first couple of days.. i dont care to have him around that much…then after a while i stopped traveling… so we ended up spending more and more time together.. as time passes i start to love him more and more everyday..i did not realized how much i love him until.. the day before new years eve when i asked him whats wrong…and i insisted that he answered me because he looked so sad for the last few days… he finally told me that he can not see us together in the future..and that he doesnt love me the way he should..and that he tried to love me and that he wanted a future with me.. its just that we cant see us together..what is sad for me is that he loves he as a person but he doesnt love me.. He is still around for the last 3 weeks but not as much…what hurts even more is that he says that he still wants to be in my life and he still is going to be there for me no matter what… i honestly hoped that he is just confused because i still love him so much.. we did so much for each other.. but i guess even then if it doesnt work out it doesnt…..but there still might be a chance for us to get back together if it is just one of those stages.. i think i made it so long.. if you want to know the rest then let me know and ill tell you the rest….

• raquel says:

  January 29, 2009 at 9:50 pm

  wow…i cant believe the same thing is happening to you guys thats happening to me…i love my boyfriend…but he told me he has lost the love for me…and after having a discussion with him..he told me that he wants to try and maybe the love will come back…i hope it does..because i love him…i just dont see how someone can say they lost the love for you…but i will try with all my might…at first i was down and sad..but now im motivated..i want to make this work no matter what…and im glad to see that he still wants to continue…i believe he is afraid of something and that has caused him to think that the love is gone…i feel love is still there..but he doesnt realize it…as if the love isnt gone..but just misplaced

• AJ says:

  February 6, 2009 at 11:34 pm

  Hi All,

  I am glad I found this page and had save it under favorite a few months back and here I am again back here, my heart is hurting again because I am still with the same person that is keep hurting me over and over again, yet I can’t find myself to just leave him. I feel terrible and sometimes overshadow by the thoughts of the whole situation and keep questioning myself why I am still stuck in this cycle. Let me tell you just a brief story so that you understand where I am coming from. I was previous in a great relationship but I broke off with that relationship and is now currently in this one on and off for about one year and a half now. The last time we broke up was about 12 days ago for the same issue: Trust. I found out for the 6th times that he had a myspace and had been chatting with girls online, each time I have confronted him he felt sorry and each time would cancel the account and about two months down the line recreate another account hoping i would not find out. Also, he would be texting girls and firting with them via texting. How I found out about everytime is when he started acting weird and hot/cold on and off. I checked his phone and found text messages he sent to these girls saying that they are beautiful and sexy of which he never even compliment me. This time I confronted him and he told me that he does not feel the same way like how I feel for him and that he does not want a girl friend at this time. He said he is not ready and does not want to commit. He said that he have told me this in the very begining. The last time he told me the same things was in June of 2008 on father’s day saying he wants separate ways. I cried ran out of the house and would return and he would then take me back without ever discussing what had happened. This time I ask if he would stop talking to those girl and cancel his account, he said no he will not comply and do as what i want. I felt emotional abused in this relationship and sometimes relived the situation over and over again in my head.When I stayed over at his place i can’t sleep anymore, he would hid his phone away from me. On the weekday I did not recieve any phone calls from him until 10 pm and the most we ever speak is about 10-15 minutes. He would always be the one asking to hang up the phone and i would always be the one calling him. I sick and tire of being committed on this guy. He is not the right guy for me. Last weekend he told me that I don’t know how to do anything and that is the truth that I should accept that. When i heard this from him, I was devasted and was in tears. I want to move on and leave it all behind and its so hard. Why can’t I do this?

• Kristy says:

  February 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm

  I’m so glad I found this post because the exact same thing happened to me, and I feel so lost. My boyfriend and I have been going out on and off for almost two years now (mostly on), and we had just gotten through a really rough patch this January. Finally, things were better than they had ever been before; we were spending a bunch of time together just being silly and cute, and making concrete plans for the future. Then, literally two hours after being on the phone with me and telling me how much he was looking forward to our trip next weekend, he told me that he realized he didn’t love me anymore. This came completely out of the blue for me, and I’m still stunned. He says it’s because he feels he’s too young for such a stable relationship and wants to do some growing and soul-searching before settling down, but I feel so hurt and betrayed. This was the guy that I lost my virginity to, the one who I moved in with for the summer, the one who told me he LOVED me that told me he just fell out of love.

  I know that if he says he doesn’t want a serious relationship, I should just give up and move on to someone who wants me, but that’s SO HARD. All I’ve been doing is crying in bed to the point where I’ve gotten no work done at all this week. And even if he’s not the right one for me, I don’t want to give him up, I don’t want to be just a stranger to him.

• AJ says:

  February 13, 2009 at 10:33 pm

  Its finally over today, Friday the 13 of Feb. we have a big arguement this morning and he told me to leave him alone. He said “I don’t need you, go away” I was stunned but I don’t have much reaction these days but just numbness, going insane. He said why am I still here..two days ago we have another arguement, I showned up at his house after going to the gym..the gym was 5 minutes away from his house, I did called him before coming over but when he picked up he was short with me and said “can I call you back?” with all the erritation in his voice as if i was bothering him. When i came there, he screamed why are you always here everytime uninvited? I didn’t know what to say, that really upset me. I left crying my heart out, its painful to be in such situation. I know in the back of my mind that he is currently talking to somebody else right now..and its just painful. He called me and text me saying is that how you deal with your problem? by running away from it? I text him back, lets just break up because he doesn’t respect me or love me at all. The last time he said he love me was when..well I don’t remember if he said it this year. Its horrible, then I called him later and just like that, that night we were back together again. Then here we are..I am just not happy anymore..he treats me like crap! I want this to go through and I want to move on from this relationship, please pray for me.

• C says:

  February 15, 2009 at 3:22 am

  I feel for all your girls… I’m in the exact position. Sigh.. I’m feeling tremendous guilt for all the mistakes I’ve made, and all these “if onlys” are driving me mad and honestly suicidal. He is now taking his “time to think” and I am left waiting and getting no work done. They keep saying if anything happens that I will overcome it, that there are plenty of other fish in the sea but I want this fish. I have never felt so weak in my life. My heart goes out to all you girls who are still suffering

• lk says:

  February 16, 2009 at 2:27 pm

  hey everyone,

  like so many have said, i want to thank you all for your post. it helps alot to know that im not the only one going through this.. even know that what i feel right now. so my story. i have been dating this guy for just about 3 years. he was my world and i was his. our lives together were as perfect as far as i knew. he gave me a ring and promised to be mine forever and when he saved up enough money he would get me an engagement ring. we looked at ring for about a year and we had it narrowed down and everything. so about 6 months ago he tells me that he is confused and that with school he was just too busy… just want to insert here.. just got a text, yes thats right a text, message from him that its really over.. im heart broken.. i know that i am young, im only 20 but i feel like i might never find someone like him again. so now his reasoning is that he thinks we want different things. that we are moving in different direction. it just so hard mostely bc i am away from school in a different state and all my family are back home. we made it threw the first two years like this with no problems. i just cant believe after all we have been through and everything that he could treat me the way that he did. about 4 months ago we took a break and didnt really talk for a few weeks then he said about how much he missed me and how sorry he was that he had acted so stupid. it was perfect i was about 2 weeks away from coming home for break and i thought that everything was going to be ok. now that i am back at school he tells me that he was just pretending to be happy so that i was happy. but i guess he got tired of that so he didnt want to do it anymore. i know that i dont want to be with someone that has to pretend to be happy with me but if he was just puttin on a show then why do?? bc its just going to hurt me worst in the end. i just feel like i was a convience to him bc i was coming back home and everything. so the last few days have been hard but thanks to family and friends hopefully it will start to cheer up alil. i know that i will always have that place in my heart for him and im ok with that.. like they say you never forget your first true love.

  my best friend told me to never regret something that once made you smile.. so that what im going to do. its ok to remember the good time but also always remember the bad and the way that he treated you at the end. i know that i did everything in my power to hold that relationship together and if God doesnt think that it is meant to be, then someday we all find that some special that was made just for us.

  so everyone keep you heads up, remember the good times, and its always to just cry. best ok luck to everyone in your next relationships

• kui says:

  February 18, 2009 at 10:35 pm

  Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 years already. he has cheated on me once then i found out he tried to deny it but i knew the truth and then he apologized and i accepted him back into my life because i love him and hes all i have.Recently he tried to brake up with me two times because he thinks i don’t love him. everyday i explain it to him and tell him i love him with all my heart and let him know i would do anything for him but i just isn’t enough for him. What should i do? i need help i don’t know what i would do if i ever lost him.

• AJ says:

  March 7, 2009 at 1:50 am

  I am back here again…Its seems that the most powerful thing that can happened to most of us is loving someone and being love back, but loving someone with all your heart and not being love back at all is just devasting. I realized that loving yourself first of all and being your family and friends and being with the people who love you are more important than being in a relationship that has no happy ending. You can read my post before this, and know what I have put myself through and is putting myself through right now for the wrong guy. I am currently reading the book “He is just not that into you” it open up my eyes and give me empowerment to be driving in the right direction. I am still back with him and still he is treating me like shits, its Friday and I have called him three times already but I have not heard from him. He just choose to dissappeared when Friday comes around. Its a horrible feeling..its just not very adult about it. No call not texting no nothing..no signs of life like where the heck is he? Last Friday the same thing happened, he just dissappeared…Why do I keep putting up with this craps!!! We are so different and he flat out told me he does not want to be with me..and yet I am still around. I realize I have a deep issues..I just need to learned and just to let go..when I finally do I know it will happen eventually it will be great. Right now, I try to keep busy, I am back to grad school getting my MBA.

• niko says:

  March 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm

  I have loved this guy for three years now. I have given him 3 years of my life. When we were sleeping together and the blankie was too small, I would cover him and freeze myself. When I knew I don’t have enough money to pay for dinner for both of us I would remain hungry saying I ate already. Whenever he called I would be ready to go and do something with him. I moved for him, I suffered for him I alienated myself from other friends. You name it I did it.
  In the mean time he frequented porn sites, wrote to who knows who on FB, flirted with girls in my presence(including my best friend), only yesterday told me he never wants to have sex with me ever again, told me I am stupid, made me feel worthless, told me that he hangs out with me only cause he got used to me, called other girls baby amd honey and kissed me altogether 5 times in two years we dated.
  How pathetic am I? You think I will ever love anybody ever again? I give up, I don’t give a sh** anymore I swear. This love has been so innocent if God existed I am sure he would have helped me by now. Somehow. I don’t need any words of comfort I just wanted to say that I am through. With men and love. They never grow up and mature…they honk at you even when they are 60 and have grandkids, perverse mofos. they flirt with you even when they have girlfriends. They oogle they cheat they disrespect they emotionally abuse us.
  I hate them all and none of them will ever again have my heart. It is my mission now to scr** with their head. Anybody that approaches me I will fu** them up because that is all they deserve. That is all they deserve.

• Zee says:

  March 20, 2009 at 7:39 pm

  I dated a guy for 2 years…he was my first everything. He always talked about marrying me and how I was the love of his life. Things got rocky for him when I moved away for college, though I thought things were still fine. About a month ago he broke up with me, saying he no longer loved me.

  I still love him. The worst part for me is how he instantly started asking other girls out. Imagining him loving anyone but me is so hard.

• Shayla says:

  March 25, 2009 at 7:41 pm

  My boyfriend and best friend left me after 4 years dating him. He was also my first everything. Things were very good for us. Every day we would talk to each other whenever we had time. He told me all the time we would get married and have children some day. He seemed to really love me and want to be with me. He had a strong bond with my dog which connected us on a deeper level. I was excited that I called him soulmate and thought I found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. A couple weeks ago he tells me it is over unexpectedly, that he no longer loves me. He won’t add me as a friend on facebook which really made me feel like he was hiding something.. that really really hurt. Its so hard for me to let him go because I felt he was my future. I went into depression mode, not eating, not taking care of myself, not giving a shit how I look. Yes I am in pain and he caused me to suffer, I will have scars from this the rest of my life. What he did was very abusive. He tells me I have issues but I think he does too. I see from this website a lot of men do this lead the girl on then leave her. Give us false hope. I don’t ever want to be in a relationship now… not with anyone, I can’t go through this pain again. screw it. be yourself. spread your wings and fly.

• Lize Park says:

  March 26, 2009 at 2:46 pm

  I have been on these sites for days on end for the last two weeks looking for help and closure. My boyfriend of 6 years has recently moved on to another girl and I’m a mess. It all happened on a weekday 3 weeks ago when he told me he was going out for a bit and would be home later. I realize now that he was being distant for a while but I just thought it was a phase. Anyway, he never came home! I texted him the next morning that I wanted his stuff out. I had this gut feeling something was going on and then he didnt come home! Come on! Anyway, we went back and forth like we always did (over text. I found out the following week that he was seeing another girl. Did I mention we were still technically living together. After 3 weeks, I finally packed up all of his stuff and put it in his car. I’m so distraught! I cant think of anything else. How can I be replaced after 5 years so quickly. Did he ever love me? I guess I should have seen this coming. He was no longer interested in being intimate with me, even when I tried to initiate it. I feel so bad about myself. How can I let go?

• alexis says:

  March 27, 2009 at 12:34 am

  funny thing i find myself coming back to this site.. i posted here a while back… What you girls need to do is take your time and get over the guys who treated you wrong..or doesnt love you anymore.. i understand that it is hard.. but what isnt…when a relationship have come to an end just let it go.. dont hold on because u will just get hurt more… take care girls..

• Josha Lee says:

  March 27, 2009 at 8:50 pm

  the same thing happend to me and he threatend to kill me

• Josha Lee says:

  March 27, 2009 at 8:54 pm

  i just wish icould know the truth he even asked me to marry him and of course i said yes be cause i love him and now he hates my guts i dont know what went wrong man i shure miss him

• Josha Lee says:

  March 27, 2009 at 8:57 pm

  kui Jake is the same way just forget about him because you are 2 good 4 him and theirs lots of fish in the sea

• Josha Lee says:

  March 27, 2009 at 9:36 pm

  is any body there ?

• alexis says:

  March 28, 2009 at 12:48 am

  yes

• Josha Lee says:

  March 30, 2009 at 8:08 pm

  you still sad

• Josha Lee says:

  April 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm

  hi everything turned out great now im seeing someone else

• Jenna says:

  April 5, 2009 at 7:08 pm

  I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 1/2 years now. We have been living together pretty much the whole time we’ve been together. I thought things were going great and I was going to be with him for the rest of my life. I wanted to be with him so bad, and still do. He says his feelings have changed for me over the last year, but never told me. He says he loves me and cares about me, but isn’t in love with me anymore. I’ve been with this guy since I was 17 and he was my first long term relationship. He’s 29 and just doesn’t seem to know what he wants in life. I knew what I wanted.. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to marry him and grow old in the rocking chairs and everything. Sunday night I got the surprise of a life time when he told me how he really felt. We decided it would be best if he moved out and we could try to rekindle the relationship and TRY and work things out. The thing that really hurts the worst, is he has been seeing a girl named Jamie since he’s known me behind my back. He’s lied to me about where he was going and who he was with to be with her. He says she’s just a friend.. But how do you really know that..? I’m worried that when he moves out he will be with her all of the time, forget about me, and pursue a relationship with her. I cant believe this is happening to me. I was completely blind sighted. I feel like I could never love again or trust another person.. Why let somebody in who will love you and leave you…

• Josha Lee says:

  April 8, 2009 at 7:59 pm

  i am so sorry u feel that way my guy did thesame thing and then dumped me on the phone i cry every time i hear our song and whats even worse after he called an d dumped me he called me bach an hour later asking me to call my cousin for him so he could go out with her

• Sadface says:

  April 19, 2009 at 7:12 pm

  Hmm.. Dang, everyone goes through the same thing. Here’s my sad story. I was dating my ex for about 2 1/2 years when all of sudden he said he didn’t love me anymore!! I was crushed of course just like you guys. Heart break is thee worst feeling imaginable worst than anything physical. Anyway time went on I soon discovered he got some girl pregnant ! The worst feeling, it felt like the day he dumped me ALL over again! He than used me to sleep with him, than quit calling! I hate him for all this putting me through the worst pain not once or twice but three freaking times! I wasn’t the perfect girlfriend but no one deserves to get hurt so much

• Deb says:

  April 20, 2009 at 5:01 am

  3 and a half years, down the flusher. A constant yo-yo, he’s on, he’s off. He needs space, he needs to see other people, he loves me, he wants to marry me. Girls, guys like this are f’ing flakes. They will suck you dry. Notice, almost ALL sentences they speak begin with the word, “I”. This should give us a clue. They’re very quick to let us know, “their needs,” and how we, “just aren’t quite measuring up…” Kick ‘em to the curb. I know it hurts, boy do I. But anything less and you are abusing yourself by staying in a loser relationships. Guess what, they feed off your lack of self-respect. It boosts their egos to see you suffer over them. Then, guess what, you’re just not so valuable anymore. You are common, you, well, just don’t fire their rockets. Let them screw up somebody else’s life, get yours together, then pick a mate that deserves you.

• Josha Lee says:

  April 25, 2009 at 5:58 pm

  now im dating some one else and the problem is that he never listens to any thing i say and when werte talking on the phone he says hes bbusy or something is it just me or is something what should i do

• Dollface28 says:

  April 29, 2009 at 1:47 am

  It makes me feel good and sad at the same time to know that all you guys have been in this situation and some have moved on. Mine never told me that he doesn’t love me, but I Know he doesn’t care like he used to. Everytime I finally get in the position and state of mind to move on, he calls and I get hooked ALL OVER AGAIN! Well this is the last time, I know that I deserve better and probably will have better. It’s SOOOO Hard though because he was the one for me, I think!! This stupid stigma that every woman is not complete without a man. I’m beautiful and trying to work on myself, I feel like when I am finally completely happy with who I am again, there won’t be any good men left, THAT IS WHY WE HOLD ON. It’s not healthy and IT IS TIME FOR US to MOVE ON and be patient, but don’t stay indoors or depressed, how do you expect to find the One you are really supposed to be with. Get out and take care of yourself, be selfish for once, just like we were taught by these losers! HA HA!!!!

• D says:

  April 29, 2009 at 9:21 am

  I’m so sick of men treating us like shit. I have decided to never give a man my soul and heart again. For what? To have him break it and leave me for someone else. Hell NO! The next time I get involved with a guy will be for MY benefit only. From now on I will use guys for sex and money. Fuck a relationship with these whores. My boyfriend and I were together for 10 years. We broke up a million times but we always found our way back to each other. This time he left me for another woman with 3 kids. He hurt me so bad I hate him now. How could he leave me for her. What does she have that I don’t?

• T says:

  May 6, 2009 at 11:24 am

  im have the same problem right now.. i hate him!! arrghh.. after ruining my life, he’d just walk away like that!!?? after almost 2 years of us lovin each other, he’d just leave it all.. i feel bad for myself.. we’ve been through a LOT. and there were so many times that i was destroyed.. i was really sad and cried for weeks.. but now, all i feel is anger.. anger with him and with myself for givin him those stupid chances.

• R says:

  May 17, 2009 at 5:10 pm

  To the girl who has been with her boyfriend for 4 years, I send my empathy. I was married for over 10 years to a wonderful, loving, but unstable man. For the last 4 years I have been dating the kind of guy I thought I wanted when I was married to my ex-husband. Now I realize after living with him for over a year that he is incapable of love. I should have known this because he is 52 years old, and he has only had one long term relationship (he calls the woman a bitch who could never be satisfied) and he has never been married. If I even hint at the idea of marriage he becomes annoyed and tells me not to ruin his day. He doesn’t ever listen to me, though I know he’s capable of listening. For example, I recently met one of his female friends from his past, and he was able to talk in detail about where she went to high school and all of these other intimate details, but later when I asked him if he remembered where I went to high school he drew a complete blank, he often forgets the name of my hometown and many other details as well. This was not an ex-girlfriend, just someone that lived in his old building.Clearly he never listens to me. I talk to him and he always shhs me, or acts like he’s ashamed to be with me. When I tell him how I feel he won’t talk about it. He just gets angry and tells me to shut up! He says I’m ruining his day. I’m saying all of this because I have come to the point where I feel that I need more. I am so tired of feeling bad about myself, and though I love him…feel lost when I think about life without him…I know in my heart if he really cared about me these things (listening, being proud of me, accepting me for who I am) would not be so difficult for him. I am leaving him, though he doesn’t know it yet. I’m not concerned about this hurting him because I think it is far more likely to make him happy. When I think of this fact, I too feel very sad. I have often considered suicide, but why should I die, that won’t make him love me…nothing will. I have to leave him because I am totally lost in this relationship. I feel so awful most of the time, and insecure. I have to leave him. It’s so much better to be alone, and keep your heart locked tightly.

• AJ says:

  May 18, 2009 at 2:42 am

  I broke it off today..how I feel so ashamed stupid. He tells me that I am chunky, that is another word for fat. I am 5 feet and weight 117 pounds..how in the world am I fat? Went spent the night last night together, in the morning he went to get a hair cut and ask me to do his laundry and cook breakfast. I did his laundry for the very first time..I never want to commit myself to that yet and its been almost to two years now..I have decided ok I will do your laundry. I haven’t heard me said he loves me since forever..I can’t remember when the last time he expreses any loves to me until we have sex. Hanging out with me is boring..he yearns every time he talk to me or sees me in day light! Today just did it for me..I pray to god and change my mind set that he is the problem and not me. I am done with this problem that god or life have try to give me..I have learned my lesson with men and want to move on. I just recently took a test about myself and my self esteem is very low, its all because I am in a rotten relationship. Today..he came back from his hair cut and yells at me saying oh my god you have not done anything since the time I left. I answer No, I shower and starting breakfast now and I did your laundry. He screamed back I did say you can do my laundry..how did you do it? Tell me what was the steps, i told him I did your laundry just the way you did your laundry, its that ok?
  He said that he tried to tell me so many times that its over and that I never listen

• AJ says:

  May 19, 2009 at 12:17 am

  I feel like shit today..really I can’t concentrate on what to do..I am in my master program, have a great job and great friends and a good family, yet i made the wrong decision in dating this ashole. I so fking tire of this shit. Sorry I am just so mad..can’t you belive last night i went back to him, he smirk when he sees me, but let me inside the house. I slept at his house, crying myself to sleep, knowing deep down inside that its over. He is on porn sites, on myspace, girls are calling him..and I am there crying feeling like shit. I look like shit..

• ms.ns says:

  May 27, 2009 at 1:31 am

  I’m going through the same, i was with my ex for close to 1yr and a half and he treated me like a princess. he told me that he had been hurt alot in the past by his ex girlfriends they have all cheated on him so i promised him i would never hurt him, i did everything i could i promised him i would never leave him and he did the same, we went through alot together! i even fought with my parents just so i could move in with him. once i did move in, everything was good until one night when i came home from work tired just to find him sitting there with all his friends drinking on a monday night i got upset but did not tell him anything but he was so drunk he got mad and kicked me out that same night!! i moved back with my parents and we still tried to work things out(im an idiot)we have been on and off since feb and he finally broke things off for good last month on april 20th he said he thinks we are to way diffrent people and he doesnt think we will work in the long run. my heart is broken! i still love him its been a little over a month and i still look at my phone hopeing he will someday call me back i am such a loser! but i know i deserve better! (we all do) and i have been trying to move on. let me know if anyone has any good advice!

• Kt says:

  June 1, 2009 at 1:40 am

  I’ve been with my man for 2 years. Before me, he always ran away from committment. He runs his own business, which I know is hard and I try to be supportive. Now hes opening a gym and hes got no time for anything. He told me yesterday that he jsut doesnt love me anymore. We’ve been civil about it, we live in the same house.
  I dont think its that he doesnt love me anymore, i just think hes busy with the business and stressed about money. He doesnt want to stress about having a girlfriend around too. He loves me, i know he does…

• AJ says:

  June 3, 2009 at 11:43 am

  Kt, I think we all needs to watch that movie and read the book “He is just not that into you” It will make us all laugh and cry at the same time, laughing because it is so funny and crying because it is so true. Ladies we all needs to get ourselves together, I still with this Jerk and have confronted himnbeing on myspace for 9 times for the last two years. I thought the same thing, that he love me. But if he loves me then he should care and respect me and my feelings. It just not right, if he loves me he tells me he loves me not the other way around. If he have then he does not have the gut to tell me in my face that he does not love me anymore, which he did so many times and I have held on for the past two years comiggling. Its disasterous. Ladies, lets think about this, these guys are not oven bake ready for us to eat yet, or lets take another approach if he represent a car, he being the car is not ready for us to take a ride yet. If we take a ride with a car through these journey of lives with a wreck up car, a car that will broke down every other days or weeks or months, then we know its not stable for us all to take that ride. At many times, we even wait for the car to be fix and to be ready so that we can take that ride, but the same fking problems keep showing up over and over again and again. Same fking fights, and same problems. We even wait patiently and lovingly and wanting to lends support and even give money to fix the car but the car are not willing to fix itself. The only way the car is ready is that what ever the issues is it have to be fix completely or else its a wreck up car all over again. I say we all needs to trade in for a new car. I am just giving this scenario so that we can all think in another term not saying that men represent a car. Another way is that, we all represent a powerful formulas. He has his own formula and we all have our own formula, but we needs to find that exactly correct formula to mix with. If two formulas are compustable and they get mix together then its become an explosion. I think we all have to find that correct formula to mix ours with, we just needs to go out and test other formulas to find the right ones. What do you all think? Am I making sense, just an analagy.

• Laura says:

  June 6, 2009 at 11:02 am

  My boyfriend split up with me about a week and a half ago, he said that he didnt have the ‘feeling’ and that he didnt love me anymore, which i accepted he just said it was him, he’s broken my heart as he’s my first serious relationship and i do want him back. a few days ago he said he regreted it and that he missed me but only last thursday i asked him and he said that it went after a day and that he dosent mean it anymore, im so confused and lost as to what to do with him
  does anyone think theres another woman? or is it he just dosent know what he wants? please help if you can

• May Gutierrez says:

  June 11, 2009 at 8:00 am

  I understand how hard it is to be rejected, i met a man whom i fell in love with the first time i saw him, i told it to him but he did not say anything, i just found out that we started dating and doing things like lovers do, we’ve been hanging together very close for one year, he was sweet and very thoughtful,and i felt like i already found my soulmate, exactly one year i asked him about what we have, he said friends, close friends, i was totally devastated cuz i thought that after a year of being together he already learned to love me, that everything that he was doing to me was because of love, because through his gestures i can feel that he did, i just didnt know why he can not admit that to me, after that incident i found out that he was drifting away from me, although it hurts me so much, i begged for his attention, i kept on txting him but he’s not replying, calling him and even e-mailed him begging him to be with me again even just as friend. it’s been one month now and it is still difficult for me to accept that he is out of my life now.there are times that i still want to contact him but i can still feel the pain of being rejected by the person you love so much

• AJ says:

  June 12, 2009 at 1:54 am

  funny, how i still come back to this site every time I am so hurt by the only person I love so much. This past week has been difficult, there is no free flow of communication between us at all. Yesterday I’d called him three times but he did return my calls until 11 pm and he is rarely likes that until he met someone else he is talking too. Last Friday we were suppose to go to a movie, he never call, i had to call him if I want to go out. Saturday, he did not call me either we were suppose to go to a club, i had to call him. Its was horrible, as if he is living another busy life. Today, i just spoke to him, but there is no much words, I say lets go see a movie, he tells me to go buy tickets at costco. I tell him lets go camping he saids no and ask me why I keep wanting to go to places. I ask if he wants to go see the observatory, its free. He ask me to find out about the ticket, so I did and he said oh you have to reserve in advanced this and that. I feel like shit every time I talk to him now. He just made me want to cry everytime, I am emotionally depressed and want to cry all the time. I am losing myself..then I think I can do all this things without him by myself I don’t need that ashol to do anything with. So this weekend lady, I plan to go see a movie, go to the beach and camp, and go to the observatory with my friends. How does that sound?

• q says:

  June 13, 2009 at 11:39 am

  to AJ

  your new exciting plan is great! pls. do it cuz’ your family n friends misses u dearly !!! spend time with people that makes u very special ; ) Take care n Godbless!

• Jane says:

  June 16, 2009 at 7:28 am

  I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years – we started off amazingly and everything was perfect (too good to be true?). We started living together after 6 months and built a home for ourselves. 3 months ago I went to Brazil with him to meet his family and friends – after we got back he told his friends how much he loved me and he wants to marry me. Around the same time, I started my Masters and haven’t had much time for him.

  Yesterday, he suddenly says he needs time to think about us and he isn’t sure if he loves me anymore. I was angry so I told him to stay with his friends for a couple of weeks. Tonight he came over to get some clothes and I got so upset I practically begged him to stay. It was so pathetic but I felt if I didn’t tell him how I feel I would regret it for the rest of my life. I don’t understand how people go from being so in love to this.

  I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next couple of weeks while he “thinks”. I asked him whether there’s a chance we won’t break up at the end of the next couple of weeks. He said he doesn’t want to give me false hope and I should think of us as broken up. Am I kidding myself thinking that he will decide he still loves me and needs me? I just can’t comprehend the alternative.

• lovely says:

  June 18, 2009 at 8:14 am

  hello
  i had a boyfriend before
  we started our relation by having a deal
  to have sex and we will be just have the relation for the sake that we will not be ashamed to our self by the time where in the situation doing so ..
  the ady past and we are in the relation of knowing each other
  we always argue and make up with each other we lasted also for 3 weeks
  yet we never done what we had deal before coz he said its not important to himanymore
  until one day he told me he dont love me anymore
  i was hurt alot
  that everytime we see each other
  i cant look at him
  and same with him he
  never have a glance at me

  uis it really real that he dont love me anymore?

• Jane says:

  June 21, 2009 at 2:10 am

  So he doesn’t love me anymore. Apparently someone else has “touched” his heart and that wouldn’t happen if he still loves me. I’m trying really hard to move on with my life – start catching up with friends, looking for a new place to live etc. It still hurts alot though and I miss him like crazy. I know it will get better in a few weeks but right now it’s unbearable.

• Sim says:

  July 16, 2009 at 4:44 am

  My story is the same as everyone else’s. I was perfectly happy in my relationship with my now ‘ex’ boyfriend so i was completely speechless when he told me he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore! I completely broke down. Im trying to act like i can deal with not seeing him for a while which is what he wants but i find it so difficult because i now want to be with him 24/7, just in case i have the tiniest chance… Which he made me feel like i have. But when i have been with someone for over 4 years and you hear they don’t feel the same… Can you ever get back with them?

• AJ says:

  July 21, 2009 at 5:39 am

  I miss him so much, I cried to myself for the pass three days, he told me he has another girlfriend. Why can’t I leave him? I am so devasted. We are no longer together, I wish him good luck with his new found girl and say good bye. at the end of the day I just don’t want to be with someone who does not want to be with me any longer. When I am with him in public, he does not holds my hands anymore, he was just afraid other people might see it.

  I pray to god for every one to have the strength to move on.

• kay says:

  July 27, 2009 at 1:51 pm

  Wow I welcome myself to the world cuz I never realized how many girls in the planet are going thru the same (*^*@! I’ve been going through. My story: I had a “boyfriend” too yea, maybe I’m the only one that thinks I could have called him that. I have currently probably wasted 3 years of my life… after some time, a year or so of a beautiful relationship I had to move to the US (my parents decision I wasnt happy and I’m still not happy, I love the US but I just love Venezuela even more ) anyways back to the story, we decided upon having a long distance relationship NOT FUN if you can AVOID this at ALL costs please DO, I didnt know what I was getting myself into including aaaaaall the trouble I had to go through with my parents just to talk to him but I did not care stupidly cuz love makes us retarded. He is my first kiss my first boyfriend the first person I have ever felt and still feel I’d give my life for and cross every sea and mountain just to have a kiss from him bla bla bla whatevs however you want to put it and add. Right now I’m 18 and he’s 23 as stupid and silly as it may sound we were even planning to get married we already knew the names for our to be born children BUT guess what I discovered last December he has another girlfriend and that they had been together by that time 6 whole months without my knowledge, so yea as of today they have been together for a whole year and while he professed his unconditional undying love for me ((and still does and the worse part is I STILL have the guts to believe him sometimes and I don’t seem to get over all this good for nothing nonesense)) he was *!&*@&% his new gf, in fact he’s probably having sex with her RIGHT NOW in some nasty bathroom at his school…. aaaaaargh the story is much more than that but I’m not proud of how stupid I’ve been so for now I’ll just keep it to myself but the sad truth is that’s the only way we learn we have to look twice thrice a MILLION times at the person before we even think about giving away our heart, it’s ridiculous the amount of pain we go thru for a person that clearly unclearly directly or undirectly dares to hurt us by showing us ON PURPOSE he does not deserve ANY of our love or time. I just checked his facebook, I thought I would be crying right now like an idiot cuz he went to the beach with her last Friday and the pictures are all over the freakin page but I’m not, I actually feel very happy right now and I think I should go to his facebook more often cuz only then I get to see the UGLY face he left me for and I feel oooooooh soooooo muuuuuch better cuz then when I put my webcam on for him to see my lovely face it reminds him BIG TIME what he’s not gonna have anymore and then he starts begging but when this happens dont get carried away by their manipulative double-faced-sided-lame-relation-making-you-feel-like-a-witch-relation-system my girls its an evil trick, if he let you fall once he WILL do it again unless maybe you make him fall even harder but thats only possible when he loves you, you can’t make him fall as hard as you did when you know in your heart he doesn’t love you or at least not as much as you love him. SO advice: Don’t ask him for anything, don’t beg for anything let him come get it himself let HIM do the begging and crying if he ever does or if he ever cared… If he never comes then let him go, but we must stop doing the suffering and the work that does not correspond to US its THEIR job to show their hopelesness since we never did anything wrong except for loving them and being too naive I guess. Go out have fun, make yourselves look beautiful every day and let him see what an ass he is for lettin such a babe go. I hope this cheers us all up a lil

  Love,
  K

• J says:

  July 28, 2009 at 3:51 am

  Welcome to my world.
  It’s amazing to witness the same scenario over and over?
  Like we’re all living the same nightmare?
  What can it mean
  What is the pattern here?
  Could it be the dreaded ‘C’ word???
  It seems at least a number of folk mentioned discussing marriage weeks before the sign off speech…”I don’t love you anymore”

  After reading, I sense the chicks with the no-nonsense attitude
  are closer to healing and ridding these “P’ks* from their life.

  I wondered if I would want him back. It appears he is waning and questioning in himself if his words were the best choice for ‘him’…

  Thinking I’ll just start doing what’s best for me…lol…

  And kicking him to the curb will feel good.

• kay says:

  July 28, 2009 at 2:52 pm

  I don’t think it’s the “C” word, at least not for me.. Like I mentioned we were in a long distance R. so everytime we spoke about marriage and planning when the heck we were gonna be closer together it was me who got scared, because I just wasn’t ready I’m only 18 for crying out loud I was not willing to leave all my dreams and all the things I want to do in other places just because he feels he doesn’t love me that much to wait for me… One of his lame excuses is “I didn’t want you to give up your dreams to be close to me” well duh! What a GREAT excuse so you went searching for another girl behind my back while I was PLANNING and making decisions around HIM so we could be together… But I guess I was asking too much… I don’t know… I was willing to wait aaaall the time in the world because I loved him so I made the mistake to think he was willing to do that too. It sucks. He has feelings for her, I don’t like that at all but it is what it is. Maybe sometime in the future, maybe never, whatever, if its meant to be it will happen but it seems very remote from a distance. I give up :S if he didn’t wait I’m not gonna wait either.

• kay says:

  July 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm

  Reading what I just wrote I think I’m understanding him a little bit more… But why did he make that decision without talking to me or telling me before he went for the new girlfriend? I just got the good news one day by surprise that he had left me behind a long time ago.

  Hmmmm… I understand him somewhat but I still don’t think I deserved it. And he says he loves me HA like I’ll believe that again anytime soon… Since he knows I don’t believe him he’ll stop saying it and I’m gonna miss it but thats not something you just say thats something you need to demonstrate…. Hmmm

  I’ll stop boring you with my random insights you need to cheer up not get more depressed with my comments HAHAHAHAHAHA I’m gonna go eat some tuna and watch T.V. right now before my vacation is over I just have one lil month left .

  Love
  K.

• Cilla says:

  August 24, 2009 at 7:55 pm

  recently me and my bf have had dreams that relate to one another.. what does it mean… like one time we were sleeping together… i had a dream that i was with my x bf again. when we woke up he told me he had a dream that i was with my x bf, i told him after that i had that dream with my x. the next day he told me about a dream he had that he was working and i walked in to work too… after he told me i told him i had a dream i was working in the restaurant we had work together. we have been dating for two months but i know him for eight months. we complete each others sentences and somehow our minds are connected.. i really want to know more about the dreams what does it mean?

• Lily says:

  August 25, 2009 at 11:35 am

  Hi all… I know there is so many people looking for advice and unfortunately i am one of them…

  So here is my story and i hope that someone will be able to help me…

  I;ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. His brother commited suicide a year ago ao i believe our problems has a lot to do with that… We moved in together very quickly. I dont know why but it just happened. Our relationship has been full of ups and downs. I was diagnose with depression about 4 months ago and i have made the poor guys life a misery. I accuse him of cheating, i always give out about stuff, i am extremly insecure and to be honest, feel like i would be better of dead. You see, this is a reverse situation because this is my fault… He told me this morning that i have to pack my stuff. He told me that instead of helping me he preferes to give up on me… I never thought that depression can so ruin someones relationship and i am so upset that he just gave up on me without even trying to help me to sort my head out…

• Lauren Lola says:

  September 8, 2009 at 8:54 pm

  okay well im going with my boyfriend he was so perfect he just completes me he calls me little petNames and just makes me fill wounderful and we have been going out for a whole month and 9 days <3

• Lauren Lola says:

  September 8, 2009 at 9:00 pm

  sorry, But recently he just hasent been acting the same like idk i just think that hes always mad at me and i dont know what to do like we have no classes togather at my school and somethimes im just scared he might not like me and just start likeing other girls and it just makes me so nervous and like i was just on te phone with him (I call him every night ) and he was just acting so differnt like he was just acting funny like he didnt even whant to talk to me and usally when we get off the phone he says (I LOVE YOU!) but this time he just said by and idk what to do ? Is this a sign that he dosent like me anymore are should i brake up with him and just be friends because we were best firneds and i told one of my firneds that i liked him and she found out that he liked me and we were just awesome togather but idk whats going on with him PLEASE HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 Thanx Love Lauren

• bobbie says:

  September 11, 2009 at 11:59 pm

  my boyfriend and i went to work in america at camps while he was there he met a girl. i was in LA and he was in new york. He messaged me on facebook telling me he cant wait to see me and he loves me .e.c.t, when we met up to travel things were wierd i sensed him missing something. He had cd’s made for him by a girl pictures of him on his camera really close to this girl and bracelts she made for him. I confrunted him and broke down several times he assured me she was just a good friend and that i needed to calm down because i was ruining our r-ship by being over protective. So i find him messaging her on facebook again!!! so i decide to look on there and find out what is going on. I dont advise this but i had to be sure if i was going to stay with him. Turns out he fell for an american girl ‘opened his eyes’ to new things. He messaged her talkin abou how he wanted to kiss her and feel close to her again. This broke my heart after 3 and half years together the guy i adored fell for some1. He had sex with her and seems like hes depressed all the time missing her. I find this hard to deal with. i could have cheated on him but i didnt. he says he didnt ask for it to happen and that it felt natural. He talks about moving there and being with her aswell as carrying on both their education. i cant explain how much this hurts, he doesnt care for me at all.I still love him bt when i think about what hes done i hate him… I feel like the best thing to do when something liek this happens is to face it full on.let it hurt. let yourself cry so much so that your face hurts. just never hide from it and hold it in. I find myself still looking at the messages they sent to each other and i dont know why but it gets easier and i just think to myself that im ok. When you fall in love you do anything for that person so to be dumped or cheated on is horrible but i think its worse when that other girl means more to him than you ever did. this is my story im only 19 but i feel like i can face anything now that ive gone through this kind of pain. for future r-ships im not giving any guy my heart.Oh and time really does heal.good luck to anyway in a simular position!

• Christine says:

  September 16, 2009 at 8:00 pm

  This website has really helped me. My boyfriend and I officially broke up last week. Three weeks eariler he said he wanted a “break” from our relationship. So i gave him his space and ultimately had to be the one who called him and said hey “we need to talk” and so he did and thats when it was over. He also said “i love you, and always will” but i don’t know if i’m still in love with you. Guys-lol. So now I am getting my life back together in hopes that he might realize that we should be together. I’m not waiting per-say, but I am hoping. I am 27, and he’s 25, finishing up his Bachelors Degree at college. He wants time and space to concentrate on school, and being in a relationship is not his number 1 priority. We’ll see what happens, I’m thinking that maybe after his semester that he’ll want to get back together. In the meantime I am getting a new job, new clothes, and living my life for me. No matter what if I am with him again or not I will know to make myself happy and to live life.

• Ren says:

  September 17, 2009 at 1:21 pm

  Hi Everyone,

  I too just got out of a 2 year relationship.

  I’m sad, crying, not eating, not sleeping, pain, all the same hurt you all are going through too. I wake up in a panic and feel anxiety attacks coming on.

  I believe we go into relationship knowing that something isnt quite right but we are so happy that someone is “feeling the same way we are” we go ahead anyway.

  I truly believe that if you want to protect your heart you must avoid having sex with this new boy friend. Just be friends. Do not make him the center of your world, do not make him the reason for your happiness.

  Most men don’t like that and when you make them the main reason for your happiness they feel trapped *unconsciously* and they really don’t like it when you become their main reason for happiness because then they feel less of a man and *dependent* on you, remember balance.

  I strongly urge you to stop being co-dependent on men. You have to have a balance. If he isn’t giving back exactly what you give there is no balance.

  Study men and learn about about male psychology and learn about women psycholoy. Learn the difference between men and woman. Like with most stuff, read the directions first before using. That is our share of the responsibility for caring for another human being and it goes both ways.

  Bringing a boyfriend or a friend or anyone into our lives isn’t a easy task, people needs to be handled with respect and care and you must make sure this person feels the same way.

  Don’t fall for lies like I love you, we were meant to be together so early on in a relationship. Love grows from a seed and many men are quick to offer a a fake plastic plant and you wonder why it isnt growing. They do it for selfish reasons and there are many men and women out there who dont know how to care about other people.

  You need to be more choosey and if you dont you will find yourself in short lived bad relationships until you finally learn the hard way when you’re middle aged and mental broken down.

  Respect yourself and if you see this new person not respecting himself he wont respect you either.

  Good luck to you ALL, God Bless and sending you all much love and fast recovery!

• AC says:

  September 23, 2009 at 5:15 pm

  My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost two years and living together for a year and a half,buti feel like he isnt in love with me anymore.When I ask him if he loves me he says yes but i dont get the hugs, and kisses like i used to. Our relationship in the beginning was a fairytale i mean it was really like a movie, his family is awesome and i was really excited that i was gonna have such great in laws. hes a shy guy that isnt very social and ive brought him out of his shell a little. his family sees it and they always said we were great for eachother.at one point i started looking for a wedding dress because i was soo sure we would get married. He recently told me though that he can no longer see us in the future. that he used to be able to but not now. at the beginning he told me that nobody has ever treated him better, and that his x- was really bitchy, and bipolar, but now i know she probably went crazy because she was confused about him. their relationship lasted 3 yrs. he also said he would be ok with having kids and now hes totally against it.
  hes a great guy and i love him with all my heart and soul but i keep trying to fix the relationship and i dont want to cry anymore! his mom recently caught me crying and i finally told her and my mom. They both tell me that they’ll support my decision no matter what. Im to the point where i started having nightmares last night about him cheating, and lying about it. Im not Strong enough to leave but i know i should, and i still love him so much. im just so lost! and if i go home i get to go home to my father possibly cheating on my mom, and my brother is such an ass. hes disrespectful to me even in front of my friends. i get to go home to a two bedroom apartment with six other people. i cant afford to move out cuz im still in school and paying out of pocket. so either place i go life sucks right now! and im usually the most optimistic person but i feel so helpless right know i dont know what to do!

• Marla says:

  September 30, 2009 at 3:28 pm

  just tonite my boyfriend texted me that i should find another boyfriend that is best for me because i deserve to have one.

  but what to do!? i love him very much…please help..

• Kaelyn says:

  October 7, 2009 at 8:14 am

  I know how you feel. You see my boyfriend broke up with me after we were together for a year and tells me he doesn’t trust me or love me. What the hell how can you not trust me after we have been together for a year. Then he just started ingoring me like i was never a part of his life. It just hurts really bad because he talked about wanting to marry me and start a family then he just breaks up with me because he thinks i’m going to cheat on him but why would i? I love him sooooo much and still want to be with him and it just hurts sooo DAMN bad. What sould i do any ideas guys?

• Kaelyn says:

  October 7, 2009 at 8:17 am

  It’s just im soooo DAMN depressed and i think he moved on already but im not sure =,(

• Nichole says:

  October 9, 2009 at 9:43 am

  Less then a week ago the same thing happened to me. My boyfriend who I still love very dearly and had planed to marry and spend eternity with.. plans he told me were his as well. Told me he just doesnt feel love for me anymore. We have been together one year and two months; I’ve lived with him for nine of those months and I am still living with him currently, whats more only three weeks ago we found out we are expecting a baby in May of 2010. Our love seemed so perfect to me ever since we meet my Senior year. I knew without any doubt that he was the one and that why when I found out I was pregnant I was so excited although we are only 18 I knew (or i thought I knew) we would be married soon and have a happy family. Just before he told of his feelings this past Sunday about 5 days ago I knew something was up.. I work from 8 to 3:30 on weekdays and usually he complains that we dont get to spend enough time together because of my job but for like a week before the truth came out he was always gone away from home at a friends house or something and I was always at home when I wasnt at work just waiting for him to return; missing him. This wasnt normal so I knew something was up. It was me who confronted him last Sunday; I just asked why he never wanted to spend time anymore whats changed? At first he was silent just stared at me blankly; then tears started streaming down his face and he said “I’m sorry I just dont feel the same about you anymore, I dont feel like I love you. I want it back though.” He said “I wasnt gonna tell you at all I didnt want to hurt you but I dont know whats wrong with me..but I still care about you and our baby.” I dont really feel right about being upset with him cause it is very evident that he feels badley about his feelings; but I just dont see what went wrong, he seems very happy to have a baby on the way so I’m doubtful he just got scared about that but from the sounds of it around the time we found out is the same time his feelings of unlove for me started. He tells me there is no other girl and I told him he could tell me the truth if there was cause the damage is already done it still hurts either way; but I dont know if I believe him like I said I still live with him, he is dicent to me when he is home but he is very mysterious lately taking private phone calls and always off to some place that he cant tell me where. I’m just stuck; I still love him and I still want to marry and have have a family with him he says maybe if I’m away from him long enough his feeling will come back cause he misses me but I dont have anywhere else to go I’m stuck living with someone.. sleeping in the same bed with someone..having a baby with someone who doesnt love me. I send my condolences to all other girls who have gone through this. I KNOW ITS NOT EASY I KNOW IT HURTS, but its nice to know I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

• Mico says:

  October 11, 2009 at 6:05 am

  Hi everyone,
  i’m writing this from the other side of the world. I live in Mongolia (I don’t know if you heard about this country, i’ts pretty small)
  I’ve been having same problem as you guys. I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for a year and a half. We have been in and out several times, but i always believed that he loves me. But recently he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore but he really cares for me. I don’t need his “care”, want him to love me. I’m not a volunteer, i don’t want to give him my feelings for nothing, i want him to love me in return. I asked him if he wants to break up and he said no, that he wants to be with me. what kind of a bullshit is this.
  i really wanna end this relationship but i just can’t find strength to do it. i’m still madly in love with him.
  but it’s nice to know that there are people on the other side of the world who have felt the same thing as i did

• Kaelyn says:

  October 12, 2009 at 7:55 am

  so i told u guys about my ex bf who i was with a year. so ive been trying 2 get over him by dating this other kid now let me ask u this ive only been dating him 4 a week and he already wants me 2 suck his penis so i broke up with him cuz i thought r realationship was moving 2 fast now he is ingoring me and it hurts cuz he thinks i was being rude by telling him i didnt want 2. should i try 2 talk 2 him or just ingore him back?

• Tisha says:

  October 12, 2009 at 12:09 pm

  What a depressing website, but at the same time it makes me feel better to know that other people know how I’m feeling right now. My boyfriend broke up with me in the middle of the night last night. We’ve been together almost 13 months. By our 3rd month in, we had literally planned out our entire lives with each other. He bought a house in May and I had moved in with him right when it closed. We picked out this house because it had bedrooms for our 2 kids that we wanted, the backyard even opens up to a park. The street name is Sunny Lane, how can it get more perfect than that? We had a great relationship, we always had so much fun together. We have a cruise that we were planning to go on in December that’s been planned for like a year. We just made the final payment on it 2 weeks ago. Everything was completely normal, or so I thought. I started a new job like 2 weeks ago and we have had completely opposite schedules so we haven’t seen all that much of each other. He had plans this past weekend to go stay at a cabin with some work buddies. The day before he left I found out that he was staying 2 days instead of 1 and I got a little disappointed that I had to wait longer to see him. I guess he thought I was pouting and maybe I was and he got overly mad about it. He hardly said any words to me before he left for the trip and when he came back he was all weird acting and I asked him what was wrong and he said everything. He said he felt like he was in a box and that we shouldn’t have moved in together so fast, which really irritated me because he was the one who wanted me to move in with him. I left my family, friends, a job, and an apprenticeship that I was almost halfway through with for him. He said he knows that I had this vision of us married with kids but he didn’t think it could happen or something along those lines. He completely led me on throughout our relationship, he told me he wanted us to get married and have kids and the whole nine yards. He left for a while and didn’t come back until 2am and I asked him if he still loved me and all he could say was “I’m so sorry”. So now my world is completely flipped upside down. I have to leave my home that I love, my new job, and the person I love. All of that while dealing with that ever so fun broken heart. I cried myself to sleep (in the guest bedroom), my eyes are practically swollen shut, and I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. I just didn’t think he could do this to me. Not him. He was different. I can’t imagine having to adjust to a life that he isn’t in. The worst part is that it came out of nowhere, I didn’t have time to mentally prepare for it. I can understand if we had a bad relationship, a breakup would be inevitable. But we were happy. At least I was. I’m so angry at him for not saying something sooner so that we could at least have the chance to work on whatever it is that’s making him do this to us. I hate that somebody else has this control over my life. I hate that I have to lose everything while he can just sit here happy as a clam like nothing changed except that I’m not here. I tried so hard to make him happy and I guess that just wasn’t enough. It’s also very unfortunate that I don’t get to go on my cruise either. What a douche bag.

• Nichole says:

  October 13, 2009 at 2:26 pm

  Hello again.. I recently found out that their must be another girl.. my boyfriend never usually texts or takes private phone calls and usually is very open with me. However lately he has as I stated in my comment last week (above^). The other night he brought his phone downstairs to our room and put it on the charger after having taken a lengthy “Personal” phone call, he then went upstairs to go to the bathroom; not long after his phone vibrated “One new text” It was from “Sam” either a girl Samantha or a girl he was trying to hide by putting a guys name on the ID in case I saw the ID when she called or something. It said something like “fine you go back to your baby’s mama (me)we both know thats who you want to be with, I knew you were playing me all along.” Then I looked at the other txts in his mailbox all from her some saying things like how she sucked his dick and how he cheated on her…obviously at some point she didnt know SHE was the other woman. Anyway I still havent told him that I read them and he has no idea that I have any idea of what hes been up to, but I pick on him (or so he thinks) when hes leaving for somewhere he cant tell me where I say like “Oh, off to see your other girlfriend; let her know I say hi..” or if hes on the phone and I cant know who it is “Talkin to your whore again?” He thinks I’m joking.. but I’m not.. I keep telling him he can just tell me if there is another girl that I will be understanding cause like I said the damage is already done it hurts either way. But he is adiment that there is not which is even more frustrating because I hate beig lied to. Arrggh… guys are so ignorant!

• Kaelyn says:

  October 19, 2009 at 7:53 am

  This is 4 Nichole i think u should tell him u know about the other gurl and ask him why he did this 2 u ask him if he feels good about what he did 2 u ask him how he could do that after u guys have been together 4 a year and two months and r expecting a baby. when he says im sorry baby i didnt know what i was thinking. u need to say yea yea sorry doesnt cut it anymore

• Kaelyn says:

  October 19, 2009 at 8:02 am

  oh and im with cody the boy who ive been with a year he wanted 2 get back with me cuz he knew he messed up im glad we r back together but i cant help but think he’s changing he says he’s not but i think he is. i told him i would stop talking to jake (which is the kid that wanted me 2 suck his dick) so i did but then when i asked him 2 stop talking 2 this gurl named sara who likes him he said no cuz shes in his tech class. i asked him if he liked her he said no but i cant help but think he does like her. someone HELP!!!!

• Beatrice says:

  October 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm

  Wow, I’m glad I found this site. My boyfriend of 4 years and best friend of 5 years before that dumped me 3 weeks ago. We have lived together for the last 3 years and bought a house, puppy and cats together for the last year. He tells me he has been wanting to leave for almost a year and did leave twice over the last 4 years. I think in his mind he broke up with me a year ago. He is only remembering the bad things about our relationship and is saying things like we never should’ve started dating and we never should’ve bought the house together. I told him 3 days before we even broke up that I wanted to change and that I realized so many things about myself I wanted to improve on. He was happy and excited at what I was saying, but then 3 days later tells me that I am two years too late. He told me all of this in the morning and never came back. He got his own apartment 1 minute from my house and moved all of his stuff out while I was at work. I love him with all of my heart – he has been my best friend for the last 9 years. I have been driving him crazy with calls, texts, emails and even showed up at his apartment twice. I did go a week without contacting him, but then I just exploded. He will not give me any emotion or feeling and pretty much acts like he doesn’t care. I asked him if this was a front and he said no. Our relationship has been very intense – within the first year of our relationship he discovered he was/is a sex addict. I think he resents me for pushing him to get help and for the things that I made him do. He is saying we shouldn’t see each other for a very long time (he says at least a year). I am stuck in a house with reminders of him all around me. I am against pills and everyone is trying to get me to take Xanax. I am very depressed and can hardly eat or sleep – I wake up every 20 minutes and when I do sleep, I have crazy, crazy dreams. On top of all of this, a girl is calling and texting me crazy things about him – he says they’re not true and I believe him. He texted me this morning and said that if I was grasping at straws to get a reaction out of him that it worked and that he was angry and that maybe all we can be with each other is bitter and angry. I don’t want to hate him at all. I have loved him and wanted to be with him for the last 9 years and while we were friends he had a very serious girlfriend and I was in love with him the entire time. My heart is just broken. I don’t want to date anyone else, but he says that’s the problem – he thinks I should date other people and he says that I love him too much and that there’s too much baggage between us and it’s time to let go and start fresh with someone else. He also says that he doesn’t love me the way that I love him and that when we kiss, etc that he feels something from me to him, but not from him to me. He says he wants to be alone and that for once he trusts himself to be alone – he has been in a serious relationship since he was 16 and the year he was single when he was 23, he was very shady and messing around with a bunch of girls. All his friends are telling me there are no girls and he just wants to be alone, but I don’t really believe it. 3 days before we broke up, he was texting with a girl from his work and deleting the texts out of his phone and also emailed a girl he used to work with saying he missed her and that he wanted to hang out with her. Mind you – I am the only girl that he has never cheated on. He also changed all of his passwords and took me off the cell phone account so that I can’t see who he calls… It’s just very confusing and disheartening. He is treating me like a robot. I know I should stop contacting him, because I’m sure it’s pissing him off, but it’s just so hard. I can see everything so clearly and where things went wrong and he agrees, but says I’m too late. It just sucks because I have been there for him so many times when he messed up and he always said I was the one person he could always count on. I cannot believe how hard this is and if he came and knocked on my door 5 years from now, I’d probably take him back. My feelings for him have been this intense since I met him and he never understood why – until we started dating… Then he said, “Wow, I understand now why you felt there was something between us – because there is something amazing.” I gave him ALL the letters and ALL the pictures and mementos. I couldn’t stand having them around… Too sad. And he can probably look at them and read them and feel nothing.

• Kaelyn says:

  October 28, 2009 at 7:57 am

  Well cody wants some1 else now and my life sucks. he thinks im controling him but im not. he doesn’t even want 2 try 2 work things out i hate this. i really care about him and love him more than anything in the world but i don’t think he cares. i’m really depressed now and think about killing myself cuz i think life is pointless with out him. i love him 2 death. it just hurts cuz we always talked about getting married and starting a family then all of a sudden he starts talking about this gurl all the time it was starting 2 piss me off. then one day i finally asked him “Do u wanna be with some1 else?” He said “Yea kinda cuz ur always trying 2 control me and whan i tell u im going somewhere u always ask were im going.” Rite then and there i broke down. if im controling him y was he with me 4 this long? i thought he loved me now he doesnt even want 2 try 2 work this out i just hate this. i tried texting him and calling him yesterday cuz he wasnt in school yet this week. He just ingored everything but i left a message saying i was worried about him cuz i knew he wasnt feeling good when i talked 2 him last and that i hope he gets better. but he doesnt give a shit about me or him self so whatever i hope i fucking die i hate life and i think its just pointless. If some1 wants 2 halp i’ll listen

• Kaelyn says:

  November 6, 2009 at 9:09 am

  I have noone now it just sucks ass i hate my life and its just getting worse life to me is pointless now and Jake doesnt even want me to talk to him. Cody and me r talking but not really he just talks about this gurl he likes and its just breaking my heart more he just doesnt understand what thats doing to me and i dont think he gives a fuck i dont think he’ll ever care about me but whatever i cant do anything about it so im just giving up on everything and everyone

• K says:

  November 6, 2009 at 1:38 pm

  I’m back to this website… I think all our problems comes down to us being way too dependant on these bag of (!&#W^% that just care about their own feelings.. what we need to do is learn from them and regain a little bit of self respect and just STOP asking them or worse begging them to love us… We don’t need them.. we think we do but we dont all we need is ourselves and if we love ourselves enough they’ll admire us for it cuz no guy likes a overly needy girlfriend… Date and hang out with other guys, eventually our significant crack heads will find out and then they’ll worry that we’ve finnaly moved on without them and have learned from their example of not giving a darn about anything else but ourselves, our confidence, self steem and well being… Eventually they’ll come around and if they don’t then screw it, that only means that any man out there has the pontential to be 1000000 better to us than they’ll ever be and that that particular better guy is probably only just waiting for that one amazing girl (meaning one of us) to appear … I hate to see so many girls hurt …Put yourselves first before any man out there especially if they do these evil things to us, they plainly just dont deserve our feelings.

  Love,
  Kay

• Kayla says:

  November 17, 2009 at 7:12 pm

  I understand how you all feel, pretty much. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We have broken up once in June. I was completely in love with him. He told me he doesn’t love me anymore, but he still cares…and there is a potential for him to love me again. What hurts the most was that the day before he broke up with me was he said he loved me…which is really confusing. We have spent time together and for the most part he shows affection toward me, but im not sure why.Sometimes he doesn’t. He doesn’t have patience for me anymore. Its confusing as to why we are still together, a part of me tells myself to let go but I love him deep down, and dont have the courage to do it, even tho I know its the right thing. He says he gets the impression from me that I “dont think much of him”, and that I have pushed him away. Yesterday he told me I need to move in the same area (I live out of province) because he wants to find out if this can work…mind you we haven’t lived in the same place together, Ive always flown to see him. I have been controlling, but he has also been really mean to me sometimes, and says hurtful things. How do I stop being controlling? How can I make this work? I feel really hurt,he doesn’t understand, and I want him in my life…I want to make things better.

• kayla s. says:

  November 20, 2009 at 12:30 am

  my boyfriend and i are still together..but..i feel like he doesnt love me half the time…he doesnt show any attention or emotion towards me…i have to basically beg for it…he is always talking to other girls and hiding what he is doing and everything..he seems to always be suspicious about things…he has a problem with me asking what he is doing and where he is going but from the way i see it? thats just me caring..maybe he is used to being in relationships where the girl just dont give a shit. but after 11 months..u think he would know i care…i sometimes think that maybe i should just move on…but..i love him so much..and want to spend the rest of my life with him..i dont know what to do..i try to talk about this…and all he says…i love you..i want to be with you and only you. blah blah blah type of thing..

• paty says:

  November 20, 2009 at 3:02 am

  My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 1 1/2 years. We have a child together she is only 1 years old and about 1 and a half month ago he started kicking me out. It’s been 3 times he did that. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t finished high school and I know my mom doesn’t want me in her house since she is living with her boyfriend. He said if i left the house I can’t take our child. He hasn’t been emotionally supportive for about 9 months. I don’t know what to do??

• JEM says:

  February 18, 2010 at 8:52 pm

  omgosh, i can’t believe so many of u guys are going through this. after sharing almost 4 yrs of my life with this man, we decided to break it off. he is 9 yrs older (i’m 21 now and we have always been in a long-distance relationship [met online but met many times in person]). then HE contacted ME after 3 months after our split saying how he missed me and wanted to take things SLOW. according to him, he wanted to be sure we didn’t do the on/off again and decided not to commit. i understood his position and thought we would eventually get there (i made my feelings clear). everything started flowing well, convos were great, it seemed as if not time had passed. then for the past couple of weeks it all started going downhill. i had a couple minor jealousy fits about him haning out with his best guy bud. then the night b4 valentine’s day, he asked me to be his. then when i actually call him up on the day, the 1st thing he says is happy v-day, but didn’t wanna talk bc he was watching a program. then he calls a couple hrs later to tell me he is at a carnival with same friend, guy’s fam (mom, niece, sis). i was devastated and so angry (i sent him an emotional/bitchy text). he didn’t text me back ’till 11:30 pm!!!!! all he said was that he was going to sleep, “goodnight ” 9he put a damn happy face still!!!

  i was sooooo incredibly angry. i was punching my bed, crying non-stop, had an awful headache. not only was it v-day but it was the 2yr anniversary of my grandpa’s death (which he knew!). the next day, i call him and read him a passage from my diary where i tell him everything i ever wanted to say (ie i hate u and leave me alone). i thought he got the message but he calls the next day to say he is sorry and of course i was happy again.

  only yest (at around this time) he calls and says that he doesn’t have romantic love. he says he loves me as his friend and that he is sorry for hurting me. he says he can’t give me what i want/deserve and he doesn’t want to continue feeling selfish. then he starts saying how great i am and all this junk

  y couldn’t he have just left it at v-day??? i had that inner-strength then. i told him to go to hell. i was angry. but yest, i had hope. it would’ve been easier to get over him thinking he was a souless, undeserving creep but he has to go and be nice. and now i feel so lost. i am a senior in college, 3000 miles away from home, in the middle of no where and with not many friends on campus (bc i devoted so much time to him). i feel so stuck and sad right now. all i can do is cry (even in public and i feel pathetic)

  y can’t he love me the way i love him?? how do i let go of all our future hopes and dreams? what’s wrong with me?

  i feel like visiting this site often, it’s comforting
  but i will mos def NOT contact him! i just don’t know how to stop wanting him to contact me!!!!!!!!!!! the 3 months we were apart i thought of him everyday and cried myself to sleep almost every night.

  i really need help, guys!

• S says:

  February 28, 2010 at 12:43 pm

  I thought I was the only one going through this, Yesterday my boyfriend and best friend of 4 years (to the date) told me that he didnt think he wanted to be with me anymore and that he doesnt love me anymore and have the same feelings. We got together when we were 18, we were bestfriends before that and I fancied him for about year before we got together, everything ws perfect, weve been on holidays together and even got a mortgage. Then yesterday he tells me this, he has moved back to his mums house, I am not coping very well and cant eat or sleep and just want to cry all the time. Hes really confused hates feeling the way he does as he wants to be with me but knows its not fair on me or him when he feels like this. I just cant get my head around it all, I thought everything was perfect, we spoke about marriage etc.. everything WAS perfect. I have lost everything and I cant imagine life without him, before ending it completely we are trying a break, Im not going to contact him (as much as it pains me) for a week or two and see if that helps him realise if he loves me or not. I am just so confused. We were suppose to be going snowboarding in March and now thats all going to be cancelled, everything is such a mess and I really want him back and for us to re-live all our very happy memories.. I am going crazy without him here, I cannot see past this aand it feels like my world has ended. I am living on the hope that after a break he will realise what love is and want to come back…Has anyone had this and been through a break and its worked??

• J says:

  March 3, 2010 at 3:44 pm

  Wow…I’ve read all these post and before I thought I was the only one in the world going through this…

  2 Sundays ago my boyfriend of over 3 years says to me that he can’t do this anymore and he loves me and always will but he’s not “in love” with me. I was in shock! SO many emotions went through me all at once. I told him I was going away for a week to visit my mom and for him to think about it and we’ll talk when I get back. The WHOLE time I was there he couldn’t leave me alone. Text messages, phone calls everyday. I had hope that maybe he realized he missed me and didn’t want his life without me. I came back the following Sunday and he told me it was over. He says that he’s been trying to convince himself that he is in love with me because we were so good together and I’m a great wonderful girl but he can’t help his “gut feeling.” Two weeks prior to this we went to Vegas and he told me there that I didn’t even understand how much he loved me and if he was going to have children I would be the only person he would want that with. I asked him why he said this since he had been thinking for so long that he didn’t know if he was “in love” with me. He really had no good excuse for that. I have decided to move in with my mom who lives about 2000 miles away. I still wonder if I’m making the right decision because I feel in my heart that he will realize he made a big mistake. On the other hand, he did this once to me before and I really shouldn’t put myself through that again. I love him with all my heart and I can’t imagine my life with out him. I have had so many mixed emotions and a lot of crying. Anyone have any advise?

• geeta says:

  March 6, 2010 at 5:30 am

  its sad…that most of us have gone through such experiences. i am currently with a person and we have 8 months of relationship..everything was perfect,life was going on a soothing note..we are in long distance relationship..n a day came and he told me..that he has 1 friend..for whom he is feeling low..then he said..he has started liking her..then he says he thinks he loves her..and another day that he really loves her..and he is not sure of the fact he loves me or not.. we have been so close to each other but i had never thought of that he can fell for someone like this…he says he loves me as well but cant forget her..she is more important to him than me..ideas and thoughts of seeing him with her is killing me…i listen to him everythin as a friend..coz i dont want that he should feel that even i am not suporting him out..i just wish god that he realises how much i lovehim..and comes back to me completly….i hope he returns and lives with me the way we used to

• me_mar says:

  March 13, 2010 at 10:54 am

  u know..its really happned to me! event i still love him crazily u know..how hurt it is..me to cant accept it at all…after what we have done together..we face it together..it just sonud easily to him..till now..i try to make up our relationship..please pray for me:-((

• priya says:

  April 14, 2010 at 7:15 pm

  when me and my boyfriend kissed eachother his eyes were open what is it does? it is true love?

• Anushka says:

  April 14, 2010 at 7:23 pm

  m and boyfriend are almost about 10months ago i love him more then anything in this whole world whatever he wants i just give him whenever he says call him i call him but behind my back he is talking 2 another girl but when i tell him he just say like this u want m 2 die what the hell dats mean? 2 me what to do i want him 2 love me truly from the heart plz can sum1 tell him im crying 4 him dont play with me just love m truly from ur heart

• Brittany says:

  April 18, 2010 at 6:57 pm

  Now that I’m an adult and look back on that “been there done that” note, I know why younger guys (and some super immature older ones) do this.

  It has nothing to do with you, what happens is you know that crazy exciting feeling you get when you first like someone? That wave of attraction where you just want to text them a lot and call them and know exactly what they are doing all the time? A lot of people are more attracted to this than the actual person and the relationship. They love feeling that way and finally when the relationship cools down and gets into its “comfortable” stage, the men freak out and bail. They want to have all the fun and have the feelings of desire, but once it becomes common…they are ready for the next girl to have the same kind of feeling towards. It’s really sad, but it’s true. Most men outgrow this so for all the teens out there thinking they will never find the one, you will, it just may be in time. If you’re older and a guy is doing this, be happy you got out while you had time. You were most likely messing with the rotten apple in the bunch that don’t know how to grow up and trust me…living an entire life with a person like that is a living hell, he did you a favor getting you out of that while he could.

  So cheer up. I’ve had my share of those guys and a share of better guys, things always come around. Especially with age and maturity. More likely than not even the cutest, happiest couples in high school will end up breaking up.

• zachario says:

  April 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

  I feel for all of you girls, I am in the same situation.
  What hurts the most is the need he felt to be mean and cruel with me.
  He spent 3 months after my miscarriage deconstructing me, picking on my flaws and even hating my qualities…This was so coward, and selfish, he did that I guess to be sure he really doesnt love me before he dumps me so he wont regret anything afterwards…

  I was blinded in those months, I brushed aside all the mean things he said and did…I feel stupid and like a doormate, that i let him disrespect me like that…The only thing that reassure me is the fact that I endured that because I had a job in his town and only one month and a half to go before going back to my home, so I was hanging in there and would have probably realised with a couple of days of distance that this wasnt being love.

  Love is not a feeling, a mail, words…Love is an action…We judge a person by his action, lets never forget that, even in the peek of a embelished vision of a new love. We do let new friends easily in our lives, and check carefully if there words meet their action, lets do the same with men. Enjoy their presence, but never set for cheap shots and incoherent behaviour: Dont let it slide, confront it, and if the guy freaks out on you, drop it right there, he doesnt deserve you…

• Sophie says:

  May 3, 2010 at 2:06 pm

  I can’t believe how many of us are, or have, gone throught the same thing.

  My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years until Tuesday. We first split up after a year and a half for 3 months, I was really devastated and wouldn’t eat or sleep. Eventually I moved on to someone else but my ex wanted me back so I left the new guy for him, because I was still very much in love with him too (even after 3 months of no contact). About 4 months later we moved in together and it was great. We have had a lot of arguments but nothing others don’t do. On Tuesday he comes home and bursts into tears saying he isn’t happy with me anymore, he isn’t in love with me, I’m like a friend and not the “one”. This came from a guy who PROMISED he was getting back with me so that this was it, and we would get married have kids etc. I’m 21 and just about to finish my degree, I’ve just moved back home and I’m so unhappy. He didn’t even act or say that he was unhappy it was such a shock, really thought we would be together forever, but he’s adamant that we’re never getting back together now. I am completely blaming myself, which is horrible because I have no control over changing it.

  J, I noticed your post was very similar to mine and wondered how you are getting on?

  I feel so mad at myself but at the same time I am more annoyed at my ex for not even telling me just how unhappy he was at a point where something might have been salvaged. I live in a small town and the thought of watching him settle down with someone new makes me feel so sick. I just want to get up and run away. Anyone who has gone through something remotely similar with someone they were in love with please let me know that you have got over it/them. I have to know that I will get over this because right now I think I won’t.

• Rhi says:

  May 3, 2010 at 8:13 pm

  I’m so glad I found this site.

  My boyfriend and I had just made 10 months on April 21. We have known each other since the eight grade where we “dated” then, and now we’re both in college. Just out of the blue, things went downhill. On the 26th he told me that he wasn’t happy with our relationship and we decided to take a break, the next day, it was decided that we would be breaking up.
  He said it’s nothing I did and that the problem in the relationship is that I always took care of him and he didn’t do the same. He says he still loves and cares for me a lot and he hates to see me hurt, but he wants me to find someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
  I don’t understand where all this came from. He told me he loved me every night, just a couple weeks ago he called me worried because I wasn’t over at his house and didn’t know where I was (I forgot to tell him I had work) and he took me shopping which he never does. And just last month he told me he knew in his heart that he wanted to marry me and have children with me one day. He always acted like he wanted to be with me, but now he says he doesn’t. He needs to find happiness for himself.
  I know there isn’t another girl in the picture, but how do you become unhappy with someone who loves and takes care of you? I don’t get it.
  He is so special to me, and I know he is someone worth waiting for, but he’s made it very clear that his mind will not change and we won’t be getting back together. I want to think that’s just how he feels for now, and he might want me back later, but it’s so hard.
  I’ve spent every day with him for the past 10 months.. How do I just forget about everything we’ve shared together?

• zachario says:

  May 21, 2010 at 8:06 am

  Hi Rhi,

  I agree with you, from your story that there is an other girl in the picture. There is nothing wrong with you or your relationship probably, but he is most likely like a lot of guys and girls too an eternal unsatisfied person. He may be hooked on beginnings of relationship, the big “hi” and when things cool down he thinks its the end and search for an other exciting adventure. Maybe he is scared of real commitment, that is real frequent. Anyhow, Im glad to see that your self esteem seems preserved, that he helped you understand that you are worth being loved and that you are wonderful…He’s just not ready. So hang in there, time does a wonderful job for broken heart, soon you will treasure the good things you had, but for now, try to find all the things that you didint like in your relationship to convince yourself its better like this! Good Luck

• M says:

  June 1, 2010 at 6:06 am

  I m in a painful relationship for almost a year now and my problem is,i m still not able to come out of it.I met this guy in office and found a lot of things in common like our army backgrond and lots of other things.I was very happy to get such a caring and loving friend which soon turned out in a relationship but it was all my illusion.I feel he just dont bother abt me.He is deeply attached with a girl(even she is in my office)whom he knows for about 7 years. They call each other brother and sister which is true(although she is not a real sister) but it hurts me when he ignore me just because of her. New year eve,his birthday etc he will spend with her and i will get excuses that he cant finish it over night.When i get upset he will tell me that this girl helped him when he was all alone in college and now just because of me he cant leave her all of a sudden.She fights with him when his phone is busy with me inspite of knowing that he is in a relationship with me. Just few days back i saw his phone statement and i was really hurt to see that he calls her abt 10 times a day even though there is just 1-2 call to my num.When i asked him abt it then he wrote “u r the most beautiful chapter of my life,this is also the last one,will end with the demise of my character” I m really confused abt my life that if he loves me so much then why cant he take care of me. Why its not important for him to call me everyday when he can call her so many times in a day,why he don’t feel a need to gift me just a rose on my birthday when he can gift her a bouquet,why he refused to meet me on valentine? I feel so stupid that i m bearing all this and he just dont realize it. Am i being fooled by him or what ? Plz help

• Rissa says:

  June 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm

  I’m glad I found this website site. It’s conforting to know, i’m not the only one hurting so much. I was with my ex for 6 yrs, but known him for 12 yrs.he was my life we have two boys together. One day when I got back from out of town, he told me while I was gone that he realized he didnt love me anymore. He said he was not inlove anymore. I was in schock and total distress. I cried and pleaded with him, but he stood his ground, and left the house we made a home for 6yrs. I’m still trying to cope. I cry everyday, and morn him like hes dead or something. I was so used to him, I dont know if I will eve love again. Our relationship had been rocky over the last year, but we always worked through it, this time was a shock casue we werent mad or anything, he simply told me I dont love you anymore..I keep calling and texting, he says I’m going pysco, but I’m not, im just in love with him and want him back so bad. I dont know if I’m pushing him more away, or if he will feel sorry and come back home. Someone give me positive advice.

• Katherine says:

  June 18, 2010 at 12:01 pm

  Same thing happened to me just this week. My boyfriend/fiancee of almost 2 years just decided within a 2 day period that he just doesn’t love me romantically anymore. Things were perfect only a few days ago then the last two days he spent treating me like absolute shit. When we broke up I found out afterward he didn’t love me anymore. We’ve gone through this before and I have only this advice: Don’t guilt him back. it works, but then it doesn’t. Secondly… don’t jump into another relationship, but act like everything is just fine. You’re happy without him. (Note: not happiER, but still fine and smily.) He will start to feel like he was the one who is messing something up and he will most likely try to fix things.

• zachario says:

  June 20, 2010 at 9:51 pm

  Hello girls,

  The second step after the initial shock of an abrupt rupture like this is a state of shock. Then its followed by denial, and anger. You think it is not true, that he will come back, you dont accept reality…This is really hard, I was there just 3 months ago. But after 2 attempts for just discussing, trying to understand things with my ex, I realised, there was nothing to clarify, he was feeling guilty and being aggressive and putting all the blame on me and making me feel like a was a nut case…So I never contacted him or saw him again (I know its easy for me, coze we dont have kids togheter). I truely think that surronding yourself with friends and family right now and just think about you and your kids and forget about him and what he thinks and did is the only way out for now. Just think about you, and how you feel, express it to your closed ones, let it out, but for a while avoid any contact with him, as for now it will only make you feel worst, even if you are obsessed about him and think that talking to him will make you feel better…Time is on your side, hang in there…You will love again, you still have love now, and it wont stop there…Courage!

• ana says:

  June 22, 2010 at 6:09 am

  i read almost all postings here. MY heart goes out to everyone, including myself.
  My boyfriend of three years called me other day and told me he is no longer in love with me. I was devastated and hurt. First few days i did not sleep or eat. I still cant eat because i feel completely empty. I am reading so much material on this, like how to get your ex back and things. I am really hoping that this is not the end, that he can love me once again. i am thinking not to contact him for a while ( week or so) and then talk to him and try one more time. Is it really possible for him to love me again? can he find me desirable? gush, all this hurts so much, and i love him with all my heart. please help.

• Cassidy says:

  June 22, 2010 at 2:59 pm

  I can’t really say that I’ve been through that before. But trust me when I say that it’s not the end of the world. I know it’s upseting to have the one you love rip your heart in half, but obviously if you where able to get this boyfriend, you’ll be able to get another. One that will love you no matter what. Going through this is just making you stronger, and more prepared for if it happens again. Remeber though, not to keep your feelings bottled up. Tell someone you trust about this and if they truly care about you, then it will be okay to cry around them. But the odds of him saying he doesn’t love you anymore, is probably the truth. He may soon change his mind though and figure that he messed up and wants you back. If that does happen, don’t go crawling back to him right away. Take some time and think if he’s going to hurt you again. But most boys don’t know what love is so if he decides he wants you back, and you decide it’s okay to go back to him, never let him do that again with out a fight. I’m truly sorry for you.
  -Cassidy

• CT says:

  July 27, 2010 at 5:48 am

  Hello. I feel for everyone who posted here I am going through a similar situation and I need help

  I have been going out with a guy for a bit more than a year. He seemed to be the perfect guy- always very nice to me and my friends. Everyone loved him- his friends, my family. We had a long distance relationship for most of the time but it wasn;t causing us any problems as he visited often and we were chatting all the time. When he moved back he found a job and things became a little difficult. I wanted us to spend more time together and he wanted to spend time with his friends ( of course he wanted me and invited me to join him each time). We had our little arguments about it but never thought he would break up with me. One day he said that the passion was gone and that he wasn’t in love with me but he wasn;t sure. The next day he said that we should break up because he doesn’t feel the same. After some time I wanted more reasons so insisted that he told me what he didn’t like in the relationship- he said that I wanted us to meet more often and he wanted us to chill at his friends house more and that I didn’t like that. I said that he should have told me so we could work it out but he said that he didn’t want me to change for his sake. I feel like it was my fault now, that I should have given him more space but now his feelings changed so what should i do? Should I fight for him? Or let it go? I truly love him he treated me well during the whole relationship

• ABC says:

  July 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm

  Hi,
  So my boyfriend just moved with me to a new city.We had lived together before this and had our problems at times, we were both thinking it was due to stress at that time. Now he’s only been here like 2 weeks, and he’s alreaady saying things like “pretend i’m at work til 5pm” when i go into a room with him in it just messing around on the internet or watever. Now he’s telling me he’s not coming home tonight because we I left him alone in the place to give him some space… /i dont know what to do..he tells me he loves me all the time, and when he is in a good mood things are great, but on the other hand his actions make me feel like he cant even stand me or stand to be around me. Does anyone know what the deal might be?????????????//

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