You really want out of your relationship but you aren’t quite sure how to do the deed. Here are some tips and tricks on how to end that unwanted relationship smoothly.

Take Some Notes

Figure out why you want to break up. There are probably plenty of reasons, get out a pen and write them down. Now that you have all your reasons go through them and take out anything that might truly offend your partner in the heat of the moment. Telling your boyfriend he has bad breath on top of your other reasons isn’t going to help the situation. Now that you have your list of reasons prepared, take some time to memorize it so you are ready when the time comes.

Do It In Person

Never breakup with someone over the phone, through text-message, or over email. It is disrespectful and cowardly. You want to make sure you are some place private, nobody wants to go through something like this in public or in front of friends. You would prefer to have “the talk” at their apartment or home. You want to be able to leave if things get out of hand, and you won’t have that option at your place.

Set Aside Some Time

Make sure you set aside at least 45 minutes for your break up. If you have only been dating for a few months less time may be appropriate. You don’t want to try and break off a five year relationship in five minutes. Be courteous and set aside ample time to discuss your reasons for breaking up and to answer any questions he or she might have.

Your Mistakes

Your soon to be ex will be feeling very discouraged after hearing all your reasons for breaking up. Do not forget to include your mistakes and shortcomings in the relationship. There certainly are things you could have done better. You don’t want him or her to feel like everything was their fault. Be honest with yourself and admit to your mistakes.

Be Prepared

Be prepared for an emotional reaction. You should be ready to deal with anger, crying, begging, insults, or any combination of those emotions. It can be a difficult and traumatic experience for the person you are breaking up with, you should expect them to act accordingly. Stay calm and firm about your reasons and let them know it is really over. Be compassionate and understanding, but do not give in to any begging or crying. Do not retaliate or get into a screaming match if he or she becomes upset. Stay calm and rational at all costs.

Follow Through

After the break up is complete, follow through. Don’t call your ex the next day or invite them over to hang out. Leave them alone and give them some time to heal. Don’t decide the next day you want to get back together with your ex. You are disrespecting your ex as well as the relationship by changing your mind so quickly. If you had valid reasons for breaking up, they would not have disappeared overnight. The lesson here is don’t break up unless you really mean it. Pulling someone in and out of a relationship is cruel and unnecessary.