My husband has many girl friends on his Facebook page. They are all friends from his childhood. He has 25 girl friends only 4 of which I know. There is one girl in particular I don’t like him talking to. His mom has made stupid comments about how how they used to be friends, how she thought they were going to end up together and how she is so cute. This was before Facebook. Now he actually talks to her by messaging and writing on her wall back and forth. I believe that a man should only have girl friends that belong to his wife and vice versa. I told him that he would have to decide what matters most: his “friendship” or his marriage. So far he is only saying that they are just friends and nothing more. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me but I am so insecure because he treats these other people nicely and tells them how happily married we are, when the truth is we fight all the time. I want these girls outta here! No more Facebook. He isn’t listening. Why is this friendship so worth holding on to? I mean the girl hasn’t heard from him in over 7 years! What’s the big deal now? He says it’s just neat to see what people have done with their lives as adults. That’s fine with me…but just do it with the guys. He is completely overstepping the boundaries. Would you agree with me on this?

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My boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago and told me he’s been depressed for two months and its just getting worse. Two of his friends passed away about the time his depression started, two months ago, and changes in his behavior began about a month ago. He distanced himself from me and everyone else. He told me he didn’t think he was going to feel better anytime soon and he didn’t want to hurt me anymore by the way he was acting. I asked him if we were going to get back together when he deals with his problems and he told me he would call me when he was feeling better. For now he says he wants to be alone. I feel like I have some unanswered questions about the relationship/breakup and he refuses to talk to me about it. A couple of days ago I told him I missed him and he got upset. Yesterday he told me he was bored with his life. I mentioned that I have asked him to go out with me and he always just tells me ’someday soon’. Someday soon is so unspecific- I’ve used that phrase and ‘we’ll see’ before so someone would leave me alone, but I don’t know if that’s the same way he’s using it. I don’t want to nag him and push him farther away but I also don’t want to find out, after waiting for him, that he really only wants to be friends. Should I ask him if he’s really planning on getting back together or wait a little longer to see how his mood changes? What do you think is going on in his head about the relationship?

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I am nervous about our first face-to-face meeting! I recently met a girl through online dating. We talk on the phone every day, many times for more than 2 hours, text each other and email. We have even already professed our love for each other. We are so much alike, we even grew up in the same neighborhood and share many of the same favorite activities. Everything seem so perfect and we seem 100% compatible. There is really nothing I can find to complain about. My only problem is that our first date is coming up and I am very nervous about the “face-to-face”. What should I do to relax?

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My fiancee recently told me that she feels like the problems in our relationship are always her fault. I know it isn’t true; there are plenty of mistakes that I make, but I don’t know how to help. I would really like to know what the root of the problem is. Am I too critical and make her feel like she is the problem? Is her pain and history from her family life impinging on our own relationship? I need help!

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Am I too sensitive or is he too critical? This has been a constant issue in my relationship, My husband says something, and I get my feelings hurt, then he doesn’t believe me or care about what he said. He tells me I am too sensitive and that he can’t tell me a thing without me getting upset. He says all that, yet denies up and down that we need to see a couples therapist. When we are up, we are REALLY up, and I don’t feel like anyone knows me like he does. I know it stems from our families. Mine didn’t talk to each other rudely, and his family is very serious, straight forward, and even rude (by my standards) toward each other. I have also witnessed his father being highly disrespectful to his mother, which my husband agrees with me on. I worry about having children and spending my life with a man who I feel is constantly hurting my feelings. I also look at the other side and don’t want to lose a great man if I am the one with hyper-sensitive issues.

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Should I give him any more time? I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, we live apart and share a 5 month old son. For the most part we get along well and he says he loves me very much. We are both in our 30’s and have been previously divorced. He never really mentions our future together and I recently asked him if he ever considers us raising our son together and he said he didn’t know yet. After being with someone 3 years, shouldn’t you know if you want to be with them or not? Should I give him time to figure it out or press the issue?

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I do not trust by boyfriend! We have been together for a year and a half and you would think at this point I would trust him especially since he has done absolutely nothing to make me not trust him. I mean this is going to sound ridiculous but he has a lot of girls that are friends and also a lot ex girlfriends. I have this huge issue with Facebook. A lot of girls message him, nothing suspicious, but it bothers me. He also will send some of them a stupid little message, also nothing suspicious, but he will never send me anything. I know that sounds stupid, because I am his girlfriend but I just wonder why he is sending these particular girls things. I don’t know who some of the girls are. I mean it does say on his page that we are in a relationship. And I don’t want to ask him why he interacts with these girls and not me on Facebook because he normally tells me how ridiculous a question it is and that its just Facebook. I guess a huge factor of this could be my own insecurities, always thinking that he can find better. Another thing that has been bothering me a lot is that after being together for a year and a half neither of us has said “I love you”. I definitely feel it and want to say it but also know if I say it and he doesn’t say it back I will feel crushed and I don’t want to feel that way because I know a ton of questions will rush through my head. But he’s also the type that probably won’t say it till I do. Do you think it is odd that we haven’t said I love you after being together this long? Do you think because I’m holding in these feelings it could be contributing to the insecurities I have with our relationship. I don’t know. I know my jealousy is not warranted, but I don’t know how to stop it. Sometimes I think so much about stupid things like Facebook that I get physically sick. I’m just always so worried I’m going to do something wrong that it will end out relationship and I’m so worried that I’ll be blind sided with something he is possibly hiding!

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My husband has not been the same since person I married since he returned from Iraq. We have been married for 2 years and we are both in the army. In October he returned from Iraq. As soon as he returned my father died and I became pregnant. I am now 5 months pregnant and my husband has treated me worse than he ever has since we have been together. He goes out with his friends (something he never has done before), drives under the influence, does not clean up after himself, and tells me he doesn’t care about me. He says because he works he can do whatever he wants. He also has a very big spending habit and is very wasteful. Since I have been pregnant he has beat me numerous times. He even went as far as putting me out the car in 40 degree weather when I was sick after a trip to the emergency room. Everyone says it because he’s been deployed, which is some what true, but no person should be that cruel no matter what they have been through. I am a soldier also and although I have not been deployed I have been around tons of people who have. His actions do not seem to be symptoms of PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder). We have to report to Germany in a month so there is no time to get a divorce right now. I am trying to decide if I should divorce him when we get there. I am due in August and he keeps telling me he’s going through a phase and he will change when our baby is born, but deep down I do not believe him. I am also afraid financially, he has ruined my credit and I now have 2 cars in my name and I cannot afford it. What should I do?

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